Richard Heath

Developer Biography

To tell the story I must start thousands of years ago, before the dawn of the self-actuating cab driver, long before. For thousands of years there has been a war raging between squids and spiders. It began back when spiders first appeared on land, with their eight legs and spindly little bodies. The spiders would walk across the water and call down upon the squids mocking them with taunts. The taunts included such phrases as "L0L 0Mg! 0wN3D" and "PW33NT", which were then many thousands of years later propagated across the internet in a plot to ruin the world. That however, is for another story. The squids were frustrated in much the same way light bulbs are frustrated. So war broke out between the two species.

To the untrained eye, there seems to be nothing going on. Squids are unfortunately stuck in water, desperately trying to escape, like a vacuum cleaner feverishly attempting to seduce a load bearing girl scout. While spiders are stuck on land, rejoicing, because some land is closer to space, that black void outside the atmosphere, than water is. However, if you were to place the two in an environment fit for these two species to have combat, you can be sure that a grand battle would ensue.

This all will change. Hundreds of millions of years in the future, humans will be extinct, and a species of squid will have evolved as a land walker with super-intelligence. Unlike their ancestors, these squids have the power to create massive beams of crazy light, lasers as you primitive humans call them today, and giant robotic exoskeleton suits, that if they were depicted in some weird anime, would probably fire laser guided panties. They can also travel through time, of course.

Intermission. Doo de do do de doo dee do do Doo dee do do de doo de de Doo dee do do de doo dee do do Doo dee do do de doo de do.

During this war, I spent many years practicing various arts. Level design, graphic design, programming, multiple spoken languages, classical guitar, sign language, code breaking, robotics, ddr, shmups, various forms of combat, physics, theories, piloting vehicular momentum devices, gardening, hunting, mmorpgs, origami, cooking, haX0ring, fpsises, drawing, hardware geekery, and have become an excellent anime catgirl researcher. Note, some of these are more or less weighted depending on location, time of year, mood, time-period during life, human life forms located in the vicinity, and whatever else happens to affect them.

It was with my time spent level designing that I was brought forth into the game development industry in the year of what humans during this time period would refer to as 2002. Mew.

Btw, for any who made it this far. 1 ;|_|57 0|/|3|) ;0012 |31241||

Contributed by Indra is stressed (20706) on Jun 08, 2004.