Dark Castle

De CD-I kan veel mooier dan in dit spel wordt gedemonstreerd. Het spel is gelukkig wel leuk zodra je het onder de knie hebt. Het is spannend en gevarieerd, maar de bediening valt helaas tegen.

Tired of the new games that require too much RAM or processing power for your Mac? Want to play a game that can take years off your life? Try this 10-year-old, Mac-only game called Dark Castle. Although it lacks the flare of today's super-duper shootem-ups, it still provides wholesome game play with a spark of humor without the gore and realistic violence of today's arcade games.

The only real noticeable differences between the PC and Amiga versions of Dark Castle are the improved graphics and sound in the latter. The gameplay is frustrating and the control of the main character is difficult to master. The stereo sound becomes annoying after playing for a while, as bats flap, rats squeak and whips crack endlessly, urging the player to use volume control on the monitor.

Visually Dark Castle looks really good; the background and character graphics are among the best on the PC. It would be wise to opt for joystick control because the keyboard controls for jumping, throwing and generally moving about are unfairly difficult and complex to use, taking into account the speed required to act in some situations within the game.

This game is so bad, criticising it is like kicking a sad, retarded cripple while he's down. Apart from the laughable sampled sound, everything about it is diabolical. The graphics look like they've been lifted from a particularly crap Master System game - well, look at the screenshots and agree.

Crap games often develop a cult following, people who want to witness a massive trainwreck unfold onscreen. Like a runaway locomotive aimed squarely at a gas station full of starving Ethiopian babies, you know something BIG is gonna happen at the end. But this time around, it's not an entertainingly explosive trainwreck like you'd find in Sword of Sodan. I doubt you'll be able to put up with the game long enough to see even half the badness. In Dark Castle, the train runs you over before it explodes. And you can't enjoy the ensuing calamity if you're dead.

Dark Castle isn't just a bad game, it is THE bad game. As a collector, I bought it because I knew that was doing to suck and I wanted to experience it firsthand. The gameplay could have been fun if EA had decided to actually work on the game, as the concept was reasonably sound. The controls are pathetic and the fact that you control a complete muppet who can barely walk up steps is just ridiculous. This game is great as a paperweight, a doorstop, or something to prop up a broken table leg, but as a game it's the poorest of the poor.

Dark Castle ist wie man wohl nun gemerkt hat, nicht nur ein schlechtes Spiel, es ist DAS schlechte Spiel überhaupt.