National Lampoon's Chess Maniac 5 Billion and 1 Screenshots (DOS)

User Screenshots

DOS version

Intro: everything looks in order here...
Intro:huh? What? Is my computer dying?
Building the video files takes forever during installation, but they do try to keep you amused as the hamsters run in their wheels...
Intro: Well, that explains things.
Title screen
Options, copy protection
Mode selection
Yup, looks like chess to me.
Helpfully shading out possible paths for the selected piece.
Look carefully, and you'll see that the bored little pawn in the top right is yawning.
And then, for no apparent reason, the backdrop switches over to a laundromat... complete with the bothersome noise of whirring dryers!
Surely a chess engine with stronger AI would not let me get so far.
Upon game completion you are rewarded with the object of your desire. Uhh... remember that options screen at the beginning?
Boss screen
A staid 2D representation if all the gimmicks are too distracting. (Isn't that the point?)
Battle Chess-like finishing moves. (So this explains "dancers" and "choreography" in the credits!)
And now... a ballerina will bug you. Why? Well... why not?
For distraction, I must confess, this works better. (You can't hear the orgasmic moaning accompanying the jubbling mammaries.)
Ah, the subtle humour of the early '90s...
That's quite the list of difficulty levels. Hey, wait, what's that at the bottom?
Aw, shucks. It was worth a shot!