The Secret of Monkey Island Ad Blurbs (DOS)
Advertising BlurbsBack of Boxes - Amiga, Atari ST, DOS:
I cursed my luck again as I slid down the monkey's throat. Have my dreams of guzzling grog and plundering galleons been reduced to this? "Three small trials and you're a pirate like us," they said. Fair enough. If only I could stomach the foul brew these scurvy seadogs swilled, the rest would be easy. How could I have known I'd meet a powerful and beautiful woman with a jealous suitor too stupid to realize he'd been dead for years? And how can I crawl through this great stone monkey to find a man who walks three inches above the ground and sets fire to his beard every morning?
- Eye-gouging 3D graphics.
- Ear-piercing reggae music.
- No typing - point 'n' click interface.
- Relentless jabs, and cryptic in-jokes only smart people will understand.
- Average playing time: 30 hours.
Do business with quaint and humble shopkeepers.
Participate in complex and meaningful dialogues.
Visit interesting places and steal stuff.
Experience the never-ending nightlife of Melee Island.
Contributed by Jeanne (75341) on May 08, 2007.
- Countless head-scratching puzzles
- Easy "point-and-click" interface for total character control
- Fully interactive cast of characters and personalities
- Extremely large graphic adventure universe with hundreds of items and locations to examine and explore
Ayyyyye Matey!Welcome t' the Port of Melee, Mr. Guybrush Threepwood. So ya think you've got what it takes t' be a swashbucklin', bloodthirsty pirate like the rest of us, do you? Ya think a young swabby like yourself's gonna be the first t' tame mysterious Monkey Island? Well, laddy, there's more t' bein' a buccaneer than just swinging' a sword and swillin' gallons of Grog. First ya got t' pass the seadog test. Good luck t' ya mate...yar gonna need it.
As Guybrush Threepwood, you can wander Melee Island - from Lookout Point to Melee Shore - and bribe and barter with all kinds of crafty and thrifty sea dogs.
To reach Monkey Island, you must swindle with the Meleeties - from peg-legged pirates to blimy buccaneers - and gather clues to unlock the puzzles that await you.
Along your quest to become the greatest pirate in history, you must find, gather - even steal - various items in order to reach the famed Monkey Island.
As you plunge deeper into the mysteries of Melee, animated "Cut Scenes" will provide you with insight on the different characters and places you'll encounter.
Melee Island is filled with exciting pirate adventures - join the Fettuccini Bros. circus and earn your pieces of eight as a human cannon ball.
Buck up your swashbuckling skills with a lesson from the sword master - for a small fee you can learn all the secrets of the blade, and a few good one-liners.
Contributed by Jeanne (75341) on May 08, 2007.
THESE PIRATES HAVE TONGUES AS SHARP AS THEIR SWORDS.
Lucasfilm Games' swashbuckling new graphic adventure lets you trade insults with some of the saltiest seamen to ever sail the seven seas.
In The Secret of Monkey Island, you'll sling one-liners with a fast-talking used ship salesman, a sarcastic swordmaster, a wisecracking corpse, and a prisoner whose breath would stop a horse. You'll also hunt for buried treasure, chase after a beautiful woman, and - perhaps - unravel one of the twistiest plots in the history of adventure gaming.
You're short, broke, clueless and friendless.
And you're just arrived on Mêlée Island seeking fame and fortune. Explaining to anyone who'll listen that you want to be a pirate.
Being the easy-going types they are, your new pirate pals invite you into the club. Just as soon as you've completed three tiny trials.
Among other things, you'll need to sedate some piranha poodles, burglarize the governor's mansion, and do business with the scum of the earth. And if that's not enough, you'll have to figure out whether the 300-pound voodoo priestess covets your rubber chicken, fetid fish, pack of breath mints, or...
If the brigands don't grab you, the graphics will.
Lucasfilm Games set today's graphic standards with games like Loom and Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Now The Secret of Monkey Island ups the standards a few more notches with stunning 256-color VGA graphics (16-color EGA version also available), proportionally scaled animated characters, and cinematic pans and camera angles.
Our acclaimed point 'n' click interface has been improved even more. So have our sound effects, which are backed by a captivating calypso and reggae music track.
Enter the Monkey Island Treasure Hunt and win a FREE Carnival Caribbean cruise!
If you can solve a few sneaky puzzles in a special demo of The Secrets of Monkey Island, you might just win one of the sweetest prizes since Captain Kidd's treasure chest. A Carnival Cruise for two, one of a hundred AdLib sound cards, or one of hundreds more prizes! You'll find the demo and complete rules in specially-marked boxes of 3M diskettes. Or send a self-addressed, stamped disk mailer to: Monkey Demo, PO Box 10228, San Rafael, CA 94912.
So act fast, think fast, and enter fast. Because while playing The Secret of Monkey Island is an adventure, winning the Treasure Hunt is a real trip.
Contributed by Belboz (6484) on Apr 13, 2001.
There are a thousand pirate stories in the naked city. Guybrush Threepwood lives them all as he becomes a full-fledged, full-bearded, lightfingered, swashbuckling, grog-swilling pirate!
Contributed by IJan (1908) on Dec 25, 1999.