Written by  :  Vance (101)
Written on  :  Nov 18, 2004
Platform  :  Nintendo 64
Rating  :  0.83 Stars0.83 Stars0.83 Stars0.83 Stars0.83 Stars

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Gaming Hall of Shame

The Good

The N64 cartridge ejected quite easily from the system. That's about all I have to say that is nice, except that I don't remember the graphics suffering from the prevalent N64 haziness. Lots of the fog effect to hide shoddy distance pop-up, though.

The Bad

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA STOP THE PAIN PLEASE OH GOD! Ahem. I was with the press leading up to this release, and I remember the fanboy chant of this being the game to knock down Metal Gear Solid. This already set it up for a fall in my mind. If only I knew how far that was to go. First, the voice acting is worse than most, yet still not QUITE as bad as the Shenmue dubs. Second, the music was rather tired and repetitive. Third, not only is the story a typical "stop the nukes!" hash but the narration is awful and the characters all play out like really flamboyantly gay G.I. Joe rejects. Gameplay is deceptively varied, but in the end it degenerates into a series of endless, repetitive gunfights where you end up using the same tactics over and over and over again.

The Bottom Line

Don't. It's probably about a dollar or two in the bargain bin, but say it with me. Just. Say. No. Let somebody less well-informed open Pandora's Box. And that says a lot, seeing as I hate reviews that go along the lines of "NOBODY SHOULD LIKE THIS GAME EVER BECAUSE I HATE IT BLAH BLAH BLAH"