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Nelda Nockbladder's Anatomy Lesson

Nelda Nockbladder's Anatomy Lesson Windows The main menu -- a first taste of things to come...

MISSING COVER

Released
Platforms
MobyRank MobyScore
Windows
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Windows 3.x
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Description

Nelda Nockbladder's is a shareware platform puzzler, created with the Click & Create multimedia authoring system. It combines varied "find out what to do" levels requiring timing and deduction from the player with some massive exuberant nonsensical humour extruding from each and every pore of the game -- beginning with the game's title, but certainly not ending there.

The unlikely heroine and protagonist of this game is middle-aged, good-natured Nelda Nockbladder -- part housewife, part sheep, part mad scientist -- who, while teleporting to the snack bar after her daily workout, finds herself trapped in anatomy lessons "due to a wrinkle in Neldaspace". The player's mission is to safely bring Nelda to the snack bar.

The game consists of eleven colourful levels -- the different lessons --, where Nelda will have to find out about what's going on and how to solve it. She has several means to achieve this: She can walk and jump, spit "flaming custard", climb things, hunker down and "ponder a greezbock" (which does absolutely nothing). The lessons contain various nondescript fast flying or gently bobbing objects (like the much-feared Elasticow or the Blue Plate Geelynob), switches and buttons to be pressed, everything often mutating or exploding when touching the floor, spat custard at, kicked or banged with the head.

The gameplay of the "lessons" varies from all-out shooting orgies to careful observation and deduction of the object's behaviour and well-timed jumping. It is often necessary to understand what each object does to complete a stage, as the objects' behaviour often changes with every new lesson.

After completing each level, Nelda has the choice to get some bonus points by hitting the right objects (she may also lose some by hitting the wrong ones) before being presented some completely senseless trivia question à la "What have we learned in this lesson?" and moving on to the next lesson.

Screenshots

Nelda Nockbladder's Anatomy Lesson Windows 3.x Exploding after taking too many hits (SVGA).
Nelda Nockbladder's Anatomy Lesson Windows 3.x Start menu (SVGA)
Nelda Nockbladder's Anatomy Lesson Windows ... but then: Disaster strikes!
Nelda Nockbladder's Anatomy Lesson Windows This is the beginning of The Legend of Nelda.

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Trivia

As part of the "Legal Stuff" section of this game's online help, Scott Miller's lawyers wanted to make sure that their ass was covered with the following disclaimer, which might not hold up in court:
    The makers and distributors of Nelda Nockbladder's Anatomy Lesson are not liable for anything that might happen to you, your computer, your automobile, or your Japanese fire-bellied newts as a result of installing and/or using Nelda Nockbladder's Anatomy Lesson. Furthermore, we make no claims as to the reliability of this product; if it doesn't work, tough noogies. Any references to characters alive or dead are coincidental. The only exception is that if we happen to say "Richard M. Nixon is a creep," we are, in fact, referring to the Richard M. Nixon who was once president. He was also a creep.

    Finally, we must stress that boogzwat frungus ploob nick wock stuck graggle-puss.

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Contributed to by General Error (4212)