NES

Home Alone

The lack of variety coupled with the general mindlessness of this game hardly makes it worth playing. What else can you expect from a game that’s released alongside a holiday movie anyways? Hopefully this game tanked harder than Macaulay’s career that holiday season and people ended up buying MC Hammer parachute pants instead. This game isn’t even worth the time to emulate, at least Total Recall had people punching through fences to warrant some sort of curiosity. What else is there to say other than don’t get caught HOME ALONE with this game. Punny.

So here’s what you can do: You can lose, you can turn the game off, or you can hang yourself with the nearest string-like object over how bad this game is. I’d recommend the second option. Better yet, don’t bother playing it at all. Don’t get sucked into this menacing world of wayward, crack-addicted, waddling bums and Kevin, the poster boy for “Slow Children Playing” signs all across the nation.