Summary
Superman is from Krypton!
The Good
I’m no fan of Superman. I don’t hate him, but I think he’s a pansy. His games certainly haven’t done much to sway my opinion. Many developers have placed Supes into a video game, and outside a few exceptions, they all suck hard. Seika’s Superman on the NES is no exception.
This Superman game certainly has an interesting structure. You start off in the Daily Planet as Clark Kent, where you’ll be told what’s happening and what you should be doing. You move around a full 2D metropolis. It’s large and you can enter most buildings. Sure, all the areas of Metropolis look more-or-less the same and the interiors are usually just one room, but you could only do so much on the NES, and it is an interesting achievement nonetheless.
You can change back and forth between Clark Kent and Superman simply by entering a phone booth or bathroom. While you’re Superman, you’re faster, stronger, and can use superpowers, but while you’re Clark Kent, enemies drop blue life crystals more frequently.
It’s a very forgiving game, too. If you die, the only penalty for death is starting back at the Daily Planet. The hit detection for your punches is about three feet in front of you, so if you’re quick on the button, enemies don’t even have the chance to hit you. I’m not sure if this is a good thing, but it was refreshing to have an NES game that doesn’t try to kick your ass.
The Bad
Superman, gameplay-wise, is an all right game. It is playable start-to-finish, and every so often I found it bordering on enjoyable. The problem is; it’s incredibly stupid. I don’t have any other way to put it. Superman on the NES is a stupid game. The Statue of Freedom (Liberty) has a conversation with you at the beginning and end of the game: that’s stupid (also weird and unsettling). Superman takes the subway to change streets: that’s stupid. Every enemy in the game can jump about thirty feet in the air: that’s stupid. Superman has to fix the stock exchange: that’s stupid!
The graphics don’t fit Superman at all. Everyone is really short and squat, even superman. Some of the characters are incredibly freakish. This one dude looks like a maniacally grinning duck. Lex Luthor is a complete porker with this weird tuft of hair on his forehead. I highly doubt these sprites were originally intended to be in a Superman game, they have to be recycled.
All the animations in this game are far too quick. I couldn’t even tell Superman was punching, it looked more like convulsing. When he travels up and down ladders, it looks like he’s dancing. Oh, about ladders, you can only get off them at the bottom. But don’t worry, the enemies wait patiently for you to step off.
The dialogue in the game is completely ridiculous. NPC’s can’t tell if you’re Clark Kent or Superman. So they’ll still tell you you’re famous. One NPC said to me, “Superman is from Krypton”. How the hell do you know that? Don’t you think I know where I’m from? Another told me, “Superman can change in places other than phone booths.” Pervert! Watching me change!?
There’s also this one poorly thought out chapter of the game that requires you to track down three ghosts. Nobody tells you where they might be, so you’re left to scour the enormous city looking for them, and one of them is tucked away in a place that can be easily overlooked. My advice; cheat and look at an FAQ.
The Bottom Line
I came to this grand realization about halfway through the game. If you took an original character, even a parody of Superman, and put it in the lead role, this game would just be quirky and weird, instead of stupid. Everyone has this image of how Superman looks and acts, and this game throws it away. This game isn’t terrible, it’s just wrong. It’s so poorly done that I must reach back into my 2nd grade dictionary for the best word to describe it: stupid. This game is stupid! Unfortunately, that word isn’t on my little scale, so I’m going to have to go with TERRIBLE. This is a terrible game. Play it if you want a laugh, and then put it away.
