SEGA CD

Wild Woody

Wild Woody! Name's a little risque, wouldn't you say? Anyway, the game itself is pretty cool. I like the rendered CG cinemas, but the poor, dithered graphics don't do it justice. On the flip side, the game's graphics don't match the work put into the cinemas. The play control is okay, but need refinement especially when rubbing out the enemies. The story is interesting, I like it even though more could have been done with the game in general.

I think it's obvious that Sega really wanted their own Earthworm Jim. Woody tries to be just as cool and flippant with remarks like "See ya in a jif, Lowboy! It's time to start sketchin'!" He's got chugging guitars for background music. He draws mermaids with big tits and rubs his ass all over everything. He tries awfully hard to reach that jaded, distrustful youth demographic by coming up to the kids with a "Yo homies! I'm totally down wit yous, and I ain't no corporate bitch!" disrespectful attitude that dumbassed old white men think sells... God, I hate marketing.

The enemies are annoying, damage is unavoidable, and the cutscenes are awful. We'd rather have pencils jammed under each of our fingernails than have to endure more Wild Woody. He tries to be hard, but this is one of the most impotent games in the Sega CD's pathetic library.

Woody comes up short in every department. This pencil's eraser would've been better used on the drawing board of this game.