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Stolen (Windows)

54
MobyRank
100 point score based on reviews from various critics.
2.2
MobyScore
5 point score based on user ratings.
Written by  :  Spartan_234 (422)
Written on  :  Dec 21, 2005
Platform  :  Windows
Rating  :  1.71 Stars1.71 Stars1.71 Stars1.71 Stars1.71 Stars

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Summary

Not at all worth stealing, let alone existing...

The Good

Graphics and sound are OK, but that's about it.

The Bad

Almost everything else.

Bad console game turned abysmal PC game
This is the worst console port ever made. Period. It's an already bad PS2/Xbox game made even worse during the translation to the PC by nonexistent controls, brain-dead AI, and other frustrating technical issues (for instance, the game fails to detect the joystick/gamepad that's clearly hooked up to your computer.)

Developers that think they have it all (when they don't)
It should be noted that the game's developers, Blue-52, have a logo shown at the beginning of the game that brags about this game...in a bad way. They show a "game check" that says that the graphics, sound, gameplay, story, etc. are "OK" during the check, but Stolen definitely proves otherwise.

Out of control
That's literally the way to describe Stolen's god-awful control scheme. A frustrating aiming system and unresponsive controls don't help the already painfully difficult levels, filled with insane amounts of obstacles such as platform jumping, security guards, laser trip beams, and other security systems. (Thankfully, the security guards just sit there and do nothing due to the lack of any kind of AI). And if you thought that wasn't enough, keep reading -- the control responses are random, making the game unplayable. I think this is probably much more than just some niggling bugs that got past the beta-testing team: with controls and AI that are this awful, I think that Blue-52 didn't even put any kind of effort into this console port. They probably just rushed the controls into the code without even caring about how it would integrate into the game, and they just slapped some enemies in there without putting the AI into them.

Does it need to get any worse?
In my opinion, no. But in Blue-52's opinion, it's probably yes, because further problems crop up everywhere you look. The third-person camera is so close to your character that you can't see enough of your surroundings, while you can only use the first-person mode to use binoculars or a sniper rifle (since it's impossible to actually complete the game, I don't know if there really is a sniper rifle in the game). The game only works properly with your keyboard; there is no mouse support, and the game does not detect your joystick or gamepad when it is clearly connected to your computer (also probably the result of Blue-52 not putting an actual joystick/gamepad detection system into the game). Collision detection problems are also evident: You constantly bump into "invisible walls" if you are lucky enough to correctly control the game. Still, instances where you actually can control the game are very, very rare.

Next time Blue-52 develops a game, they should learn that we're here for quality products, not crappy products.

The Bottom Line

With non-existent controls that make the game pretty much unplayable, this product has no value to all consumers aside from masochists. Avoid it at all costs, even if it's free! You'll be glad you did.