Xbox

Painkiller: Hell Wars

This is not an ambitious FPS, but it accomplishes everything it sets out to do. Painkiller: Hell Wars doesn’t ask you to think, which is convenient because you’re moving so fast you rarely have time. Just be aware that multiplayer may not be a reality.

With forebodingly scary levels, huge end bosses and plenty of enjoyably hellacious, gory FPS gameplay, Painkiller: Hell Wars has enough quality features to blaze a fiery path into the Xbox library of shooter aficionados as it is one of the most devilishly pleasurable FPS titles on the Xbox.

I remember watching the movie Constantine the other day. Interesting premise. You've got this detective who finds himself in this battle between heaven and hell, where seeing demons is an everyday occurrence and a run-in with Lucifer seems to be like an office interview. But the movie just didn't have that much fun with its premise. I'm not sure if it was Keanu Reeves or the whole pacing or whatever, but I kept thinking that it could've done more with this whole "eternal battle" storyline. Fortunately, the arrival of Painkiller: Hell Wars takes the more visceral approach, and puts you right in the thick of such a battle.

The time has finally arrived. After an initial announcement that dates back three years ago this month, and appearances at the past three E3 shows, Painkiller: Hell Wars for the Xbox is ready to launch after perhaps the most notorious development cycle in the console’s history. Developed by People Can Fly, this iteration is the first time this series has appeared on a home console (its roots seep in the PC realm), but the biggest question that remains now is whether or not gamers are still around to enjoy this title, and better yet, it is even worth checking out at all?

Originally released for the PC in 2004, Painkiller distilled first-person shooter gameplay down to its rawest essentials. It was a throwback to the halcyon days of id Software's Quake, the 3D first-person shooter that started it all. But Painkiller also featured spectacularly impressive graphics and amazingly realistic physics, so it was much more than just homage to a classic game. Now Painkiller has finally reached the Xbox in a game that's like a "director's cut" version of the original PC game and its expansion pack. Some technical performance issues and the passing of time make this version of the game less remarkable now than the original was when it was released, but Painkiller: Hell Wars is still a fun and viscerally satisfying shooter that has a lot to offer.

Omdat Microsofts Xbox 360 de Xbox steeds meer in de schaduw lijkt te stellen wordt het alsmaar moeilijker wordt om een eerstepersoonsshooter voor de 'oude box' aan te prijzen. Voor die Xboxgamers die nog niet overgestapt zijn, is deze Painkiller: Hell Wars een verfrissende en oerdegelijk uitgevoerde terugkeer naar de originele franjeloze shooterwaanzin.

As much as I hate to say it, this title is so 2005. It’s a little unfair – there are certainly plenty of gamers who lack the gaming PC to play the original – but at the same time it’s hard to get very excited about a port of a game that is exactly the same as one I played a year ago. Even lacking any new content (and on a system that has been left for dead by the rest of the industry), though, this is one of the better PC-to-console ports I’ve seen.

If you still haven't jumped into the next generation of gaming or finished the PC version of Painkiller, then Hell Wars is worth a look. Painkiller: Hell Wars is a great stress reliever that has a strong pace never lets up. If slaughtering demons with a host of deadly weapons set on full throttle sounds like fun, then you will have a great time with Painkiller: Hell Wars.

Painkiller's colossal bosses are impressive, and some of these towering behemoths reminded me of Shadow of the Colossus (Playstation 2, 2005). I truly enjoyed Painkiller's occult themes and pick-up-and-play quality. If it's close to Halloween and you're feeling more violent than usual, you may even want to bump up the grade to a solid "B".

Originally released in 2004 for the PC platform, Painkiller was one of the top first-person shooters made that year. While much of the shooter-development community shifted its focus to create heady, cerebral, and stealthy games, People Can Fly used today’s technology to make yesterday’s shooter. The results were excellent and refreshing. Painkiller for PC was a modern-day run-and-gun shooter and an absolute blast. The original game and the expansion pack levels have been brought to the Xbox in Painkiller: Hell Wars. Console gamers that aren’t familiar with this PC franchise should pay attention, because this game is one hell of a ride.

Painkiller, originally released on the PC back in the unfathomable prehistory of 2004, represents the distilled quintessence of first-person shooters. Stripped of complications like upgradeable statistics, weird puzzles, scripted scenes, or even anything so complex as keys, it gave us something we really hadn't seen much of since the early days of Quake: a simple excuse to kill the hell out of a whole mess of guys. It never really becomes much more cerebral than that. Find a new room, execute everything that appears, and pass through whatever door arbitrarily opens once everything stops moving. Kill more guys. You get the idea.

It's been a tortuous development cycle, rife with delays, but People Can Fly's Painkiller: Hell Wars is finally on retail shelves. Basically the same thing as the 2004 PC version with a few extra levels, Painkiller offers first-person shooter fans a mindless, gory shooting experience. In addition to its 22 single player stages and four difficulty settings, the game provides seven multiplayer modes. While it definitely delivers plenty of gib-filled firefights with overpowered weaponry, the game falls flat after a few hours of play.

It may happen slowly, but the Xbox is dying. Just admit it, and prepare to move on. Considering the console's "sooner or later" demise, we're almost tempted to soften our stance on games like Painkiller: Hell Wars. When there's less and less promising content to liven up the big black console, this simplistic shooter almost looks good. But in reality, Hell Wars is no more compelling than Serious Sam 2, or any other bog-standard shooter we've seen since Doom threw down the gauntlet.

Please, if you’re still reading this and somehow feeling undecided about it, save yourself some money and buy a few razorblades instead. Cutting yourself will be more fun than playing the incoherent mess of Painkiller. The game is dull in the beginning and only drags on afterwards, never becoming any more fun or different, the graphics are terrible, and often slows down from its usual 60vosps (vomits on screen per second. I know I am pretty funny, hah, hah hah). After a few hours you really will feel like you’ve downed a whole bottle of Panadol capsules anyway, this resulting feeling being how they came up with the name I believe. Do not buy Painkiller, and burn it in front of anyone who has tried to give it to you as a gift. If anyone tries to tell me it’s a return to the golden age of FPS, as they tried to tell me, punch them in the face before praying that the golden age never comes again. Sorry to all of you working at People Can Fly, better luck next time.