Xbox 360

Zoids Assault

If you can block out the poor audio and focus on the impressive camera angles the game employs – on top of the decent battle animations – Zoids Assault isn’t a game marred by too many technical difficulties. Though, the added grain filter is unnecessary as it only takes away the finer details of your mechs.

Zoids Assault is a bland, uninspiring game that will keep the interest of very few gamers after the first battle or two. It's a case where there's less that's entirely wrong with the game than there is that fails to be right.

Zoids Assault is a title that won’t win over too many new fans. It has low production values, the storyline is weak, the gameplay is standard and the audio isn’t anything special; all the makings of a below-average video game.

I am not exaggerating when I say that any of the many Front Mission games will serve your giant robot strategy/RPG needs far better than Zoids Assault ever could. Don’t waste your time here.

In its battle system, Zoids Assault has the germ of a great game. The idea is executed so half-heartedly, however, that it's hard to imagine what the developers were thinking. So, many minor tweaks could have made this so much better. Factor in a price that's at least quadruple what it should be, and it's not just a bad game, it's an insult.

Sadly, the budget presentation and generic everything do not result in a lowered price point -- this one's the full $60, folks. Zoids Assault will be worth a look for some -- namely franchise fanatics and strategy-starved Xbox 360 owners -- just don't expect any surprises.

Although I’m not sure they still exist in the U.S., fans of the Zoids universe will surely want to pick this one up, even though it doesn’t honor Tomy’s IP as well as it could have. For the rest of the RPG fans, there are much better choices when it comes to playing a JRPG stateside; none of which involve importation.

Zoids Assault isn’t terrible; it just doesn’t exactly succeed in any of the areas that are important for the genre. If I’m going to trudge through a top-down, grid-based skirmish, I want the battles to be engaging and rewarding when I win. Instead, they’re boring and redundant. If I’m going to engage in a struggle between warring nations, I want the cutscenes to bring me in to that world, not leave me more disconnected to the Zoids universe than I was originally. Steer clear of Zoids unless you’re a rabid strategy fan who has played through Atlus’ other lackluster titles or if you’re an ardent supporter of the franchise. Everyone else needn’t apply.

There may be a few fans of the Japanese Zoids toys and anime, but I can’t imagine either of them actually enjoying this repetitive strategy title. There is nothing original about this game. Upgrading your characters is a chore, the battles feel overly long and drawn out, and you’ll constantly rely on the same few attacks. The game’s production values are also extremely low; the story might actually be filled with some interesting political intrigue, but it’s told with all the art and style of a YouTube video. If you spend five minutes with this game, that’s too much.

It's odd that the best-looking of Atlus' recent trilogy of Xbox 360 games would be the weakest from a gameplay perspective. Zoids Assault has no personality, reduces its story to recited political mumbo jumbo, and is insanely short without offering any reason to return once you're done. It's functional--and that's it.

In some ways, Zoids Assault is worse than a game that is actively terrible. Zoids Assault manages to be bug-free, but that is perhaps the kindest thing one can say about it. The boring repetitive gameplay, awful story, bland characters, unattractive visuals and short length all combine to make Zoids Assault possibly the worst RPG for the Xbox 360. It offers nothing, not even to die-hard fans of the Zoids series, and certainly not to Xbox 360 owners who are looking for an SRPG to tide them over. It's rare I say this, but Zoids Assault is a game to avoid at all costs. Xbox 360 owners who are truly desperate for a SRPG would be much better off with Atlus' older release, Operation Darkness or waiting for something better to come along.

Zoids Assault isn't horrible; it is just hard to find something genuinely enjoyable about it. Gameplay is very paint-by-numbers and without a story or characters to connect you to the experience, it feels very impersonal. Even if this is by design, it doesn't work. Even for hardcore strategy players, Zoids Assault is a pass.

In the end Zoids Assault is a big mess of a strategy role-playing game, as it seems to fall short on just about every level. Fans of strategy games can easily overlook a lackluster presentation, but Zoids Assault also suffers a severe lack of appealing game play, making it hard to recommend to anyone.

The only thing more unbelievable than the fact that Zoids Assault is a full-priced title is that they advertise downloadable content on the back of the box. Apparently delivering an incomplete package at the same price as Grand Theft Auto IV and Metal Gear Solid 4 isn’t enough, and Atlus thinks that they can get away with demanding more money for content that, in all honesty, still wouldn’t make this a complete experience. Even fans of the genre will quickly grow bored and regret a purchase, despite the interesting support system. Even when compared to the past few Atlus Xbox 360 titles, which landed with a decisive thud, Assault is a disappointment worth ignoring. Fans of tactical RPGs have plenty of other options, most far better, to explore, and even games that we have recommended you trash in the past are much more worthy of a rental than this.

The biggest problem with Zoids Assault is that it feels like a lazy game. Despite the gameplay being fast-paced and enjoyable, the lack of options for the main party is disheartening. The player not having a direct role in the game's overall plot causes disconnection. The presentation, especially the lack of animation, does nothing to help. On top of all that, the fact that Zoids Assault is easy to complete in less than fifteen hours is just insulting. It's difficult not to feel as if this lackluster title would have been much better suited for a handheld gaming platform instead of the Xbox 360. On one of those systems, many of these problems wouldn't have seemed as glaring. As it stands, Zoids Assault had potential with its decent gameplay, but only turned out to be a fraction of what it could have been.

When the first few minutes of a game implore you to call up your Aunt Jessamine and talk to her about her cats' colon problems, you know you've stumbled onto something that's not worth your time. The graphics are lackluster, combat is a lot like work, and there is little or no fun to be had. If you're a masochist, and you enjoy putting yourself through experiences you will hate yourself for later, then this game is for you. If not, do yourself a favor and pass this up, especially for the ridiculous amount of $59.99 as it's suggested retail price. Zoids are dead for a reason.

Zoids Assault, while not a complete disaster, is something altogether worse. It's completely unnecessary. At least a disaster might have been interesting. This is basically the definition of uninspired design and execution. There's no challenge, no real depth, no compelling storyline. The game is just flat and tedious, overly long at under ten hours. There are no surprises or twists, just the grind of fighting the same basic battle over and over again. Perhaps nothing more clearly demonstrates the profound ambivalence the game created in me than the fact that the story never made it clear exactly what a Zoid was, and at the end of it, I had no real desire to hop onto the internet to find out.