Privateer 2: The Darkening

The Good
The CD had many uses:

-- Throw it like a frisbee (It could also be turned into one of those Chinese throwing stars with a little modification).

-- A coaster to set your coffee cup on while playing a good game.

-- If you're strapped for cash this holiday season, the CD makes a nice, shiny tree ornament.

-- If you're lost in the wilderness, you can use it as a signal mirror... it might save your life.

The Bad
CDs thrown like frisbees or throwing stars tend to shatter on impact, but there are two of them, so you'll have a replacement.

Seriously, though, this game is really, REALLY bad. The cut-scenes, although of decent cinematic quality, are cheesier than Monterey Jack. The game has absolutely nothing to do with the Wing Commander universe (the setting for the original Privateer). Instead, it's like a leech sucking up Privateer's good reputation in order to survive.

It didn't work.

The Bottom Line
In a word: crap.

The Good
The story was really fascinating to me. At first I thought the amnesia spin and everything was going to take me back to countless plots that had been spun before, but that wasn't true. The only reason I picked this title up in the first place was the ensemble cast of great actors, and for anyone who wants to see Christopher Walken play a role where he actually manages to ditch his native New Yorker accent, here's proof he can! As far as gameplay, the Privateer magic is still intact. The ability to configure your own ship and make your own lifestyle is still as addictive as ever, and being able to play the game at your own pace is also a major boon. Just save up the cash for better guns and a cooling system, take the ship up, and punish the first pirate that used to pick on you so. Now TELL me the last time a moment in a game was so rewarding!

The Bad
Ah, well, yes. Ahem. The reason the above moment was so rewarding is that the hours and hours leading up to it are so RIDICULOUSLY BUTT-HARD! Here, here, here, do this; Go into the nav screen, enable the search option, type "no talent" and hit enter. This will enable the cheat option and you can THANK ME LATER FOR SPARING YOU FROM HAVING TO BEAT YOUR JOYSTICK CONTINUOUSLY AGAINST THE WALL! I took a two-year hiatus from playing this game because it just annoyed me that much. During that bile-filled interim I got my hands on WC: Prophecy and learned how they twisted Robert's characters around in his absense. This prompted a telephone call wherein I asked Origin to stop making games. Really. I called their CEO "that smug-looking, fat b*d," much to the receptionist's delight, and thanked her for her time. Ah, but I digress. So either make note of the cheat functions here or get Ritalin before playing this game.

The Bottom Line**
A thoroughly entertaining game that will only age you about a decade or so if you're easily frustrated.

The Good
For once, a full motion video game with decent actors. You've got John Hurt from Alien, Jürgen Prochnow from das Boot and even Christopher Walken. It's got a nice range of ships and weaponry (except perhaps for the Nuke'Em device which is a bit of an overkill) and an interesting plot-line.

The Bad
The game is not completely free of bugs, sometimes escort missions are virtually impossible to carry out and you run the risk of gnawing your own leg off in frustration before you manage to actually get it right. Also, the sound engineering/leveling is off the scale, it's often hard to hear what people in the game are saying because there's just too much background noise/music.

The Bottom Line
If you're into either space sims or full motion video, this game is something you should try to get hold of.