The Simpsons: Hit & Run

The Good
"The Simpsons: Hit & Run" isn't really bad as a plagiarism. Some individual creative content would have been a good addition, but it's still a quite professional Grand Theft Auto theft. The game's main problem is just, that the comparison with its role model is as inevitable as it is impossible to win.

Admittedly, the developers could have stolen worse concepts. The Simpsons and GTA are at least a matching combination. Homer's driving style always suggested, that he developed it in a video game rather than in a driving school. And the anarchic sense of humor, that characterizes the Simpsons, works well together with the equally anarchic gameplay style, for which the GTA franchise is famous.

The game is divided into seven chapters, in which you successively control all members of the yellow family (except for little Maggie). Homer and Bart have two chapters dedicated to them and the fifth one features – quite a surprise – the Indian Kwik-E-Mart owner Apu in the leading role. Hands-on there aren't any differences between the characters: their main activity is running, jumping and driving. Even Lisa can steal cars and run amok like the rest. Yet, unlike GTA, it's all presented without gore. The shooting sequences are replaced with sporadically intercepting platform action and whenever a car hits a pedestrian, slapstick comedy replaces brutal death scenes. Watching, how Flanders gets catapulted into the air from your buffer-bar, will surely put a smile on your face. Nothing really new, though: everybody knows, that car crashes and accidents are funny, as long as they happen in video games.

The racing sequences are still the strength of "Hit & Run". Similar to GTA, you have a great number of vehicles at your disposal, all with observably different qualities and handling characteristics. The game doesn't make the mistake to strive for realism, however. It remains a pure fun racer with exaggerated stunts and all kinds of hilarious action. The missions, you have to fulfill, involve a great amount of car chases, which are always fast-paced, easy to handle and yet challenging. If they were more varied, the missions could almost keep up with the quality of GTA.

Another strong point are production values, even when the transition from 2D to 3D doesn't do the characters any good. We're used to the Simpsons as a cartoon family – seeing them as badly rendered 3D-models isn't really appealing. But anyway the secret star of this game is neither Homer nor Bart, neither Marge nor Lisa. It's the city, it's Springfield. It may not have the size of a San Andreas, but the design shows a lot of talent as well.

In true sandbox style, you can at any time steal a car and explore the city ad libitum in between missions. Hunting for items can be a motivation, but even when you don't care for completing the game with a 100% mark, exploring the world is still a joy. Springfield not only looks good, but also appears alive and spirited with all its traffic and countless characters walking around (many of them known from the television series). Despite being 3D, the environments have a nice cartoony feel to it with lots of attention for details: walking in the garden of the Simpson's estate, lets you discover Bart's tree house, for example. Needless to say, that you will visit many well-known locations like the nuclear power plant owned by Mr. Burns and the elementary school, where my favourite supporting character acts out his visions of proper education. In addition the game is filled with many, many references to certain episodes, that will delight any fan. Sadly, average persons like myself probably miss many of that self-referential stuff...

Freak or not freak, exploring the game world and enjoying the beautiful graphics should still be an enjoyment for everyone. The production values in the audio department fortunately keep up. It's almost superfluous to say, that the original voice actors from the series do an excellent job, but the music is even better. Besides familiar themes you'll also hear many new ones and everything blends perfectly. Although it's sometimes hard to notice, as you concentrate on the action, the music, that plays during races, is particularly amazing.

The Bad
Ever since their first broadcasting, the Simpsons were ranging from sharp, political satire to ridiculous, irrational farce. Unfortunately, "Hit & Run" more or less forgets about the first style of humor and does a pretty bad job in attending to the latter. It's not completely unfunny, but the few good moments get lost in hundreds of stupid groaners, crammed into pointless conversations and almost entirely relying on tired character clichés. The actual story comprises mechanical bees spying on the neighbourhood and a mind-manipulating Buzz Cola fake. While your daily Simpsons episode moves at a frantic speed, this stupid, slowly evolving plot is mostly in a slumber. It's only doubling the disappointment, when you hear, that "award-winning Simpsons writers" were at work, here. So what happened? I don't know, but it feels like the writers saw this as an opportunity to finally put the rather brackish ideas to use, that were collecting dust somewhere in the more seldom opened drawers of their desks. There's hardly any other explanation, when this isn't discarded television material, stretched and adjusted to video game format very quickly. In any case it doesn't do the franchise any justice.

Dialogues also suffer from having to advance the plot as well as to introduce the next mission objective, which usually is a carelessly disguised replication of the one before. That's probably the worst flaw of this game: the mission design is terribly unvaried. You either have to race against an opponent or against the clock. You often have to collect a specific amount of specific items within a specific time limit – alone this mission type is repeated for what feels like hundreds of times. Not a good approach, when you want to stay interesting in the long run.

On foot you're challenged only seldom. The platforming sequences are few and far in between, probably because the handling is neither really precise nor comfortable. What exists, doesn't fuel any desire to see more. Jumping over rooftops is mildly entertaining during free exploration, but the platform segments during missions are uninspired and annoying. The desire to do secondary missions is limited even more. As likely as not, the rewards will fail in making you perform more boring standard-tasks. True, the racing is fun, as I said before. In comparison with GTA, however, the gameplay is far too monotonous and uninspired. And this comparison isn't unfair, since the game so deliberately entered Rockstar's territory. Being measured against their works is a consequence, that must have been expected.

The Bottom Line
So, if you can't stand violent gangster-settings or are just a glowing follower of the Simpsons cult, you can nowadays get this game as a bargain. As soon as you have explored Springfield, there isn't much interesting left, however. The city may shine, but the performance of pop culture's most beloved family is quite disappointing. The best thing about "Hit & Run" is probably, that you can start it up and immediately enter a fast, action-packed racing sequence. The worst thing is, that it gets old so quickly.

The Good
It's obvious that the Simpsons writers were involved in this game. The storylines and the gags are pure Simpson. As a Simpsons fan, I really enjoyed the convoluted storyline that’s trademark of the show. Especially enjoyable were the oneliners tossed by Homer, who’s takes up most of the game. You often get chewed out by the character after hitting an object with your vehicle.

The music is top notch, and most of it is clearly in the spirit of Danny Elfman’s original theme. Sound was great too. Most of it recycled from the stock sounds of the show. The engine noises were indicative of the state of your vehicle. A nice touch.

The developers did a good job recreating Springfield on the game map. The body motions varied partially when costumes were changed. If you’re lucky, you’ll catch the “I am Evil Homer” dance.

The challenge of the game comes from the goals and the limitations of each vehicle. Most races can be easily completed if you have and use the best vehicle for the race. The best vehicle isn’t necessarily the fastest. Handling, toughness, acceleration and size are also to be considered when racing. There are some races that require you to use a particular vehicle. Those are by nature, tougher than the others. You can assume control of almost all vehicles that you get close to. Part of the fun is finding those secret vehicles. The physics engine is used to great effect, having your vehicle fly off in different directions, or knocking other vehicles out of your way.

The game is gentle with us of slower reflexes and lets us skip all but the last mission if we fail enough times. It also lets you go back and try the mission at any time in the game with any vehicles you’ve acquired later on.

Each level comes with collector cards, gags, cars, costumes and a bonus mission that you can complete to unlock hidden items. The game is very PG, no swearing, no blood, no sex or overt violence.

And it’s the first time in a very long time I’ve played a game out of the box that I didn’t need to patch.

The Halloween level was a major laugh!

The Bad
The game is relatively short with only 7 levels. The bonus races you unlock only really work for consoles. You will hear the same one liners over and over and over.

Some parts of the game require you to hop and jump to get items. The controls are unwieldy for that kind of play and you often find your perspective jumping around due to bound box boundaries of the camera. In those situations, you would be happier with a first person perspective.

No online player component. And you don’t get to play any characters except for the Simpsons and Apu.

The Bottom Line
Play it if you’re a Simpsons fan. If not, you’ll probably be really annoyed with it.

The Good
Do you like The Simpsons? Do you like GTA? Well, then you are going to love... oh, wait, that's not it. D'oh!

Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, Hit & Run. The game in which you can run around virtual Springfield, collecting coins, which you can use to purchase... well, almost nothing actually, just some useless outfits and a few cars. I wish I could spend all this money on donuts. Mmmm... do-nuts...

Right. So what's really good in Hit & Run? Well, it's quite addictive. Almost like chocolate. Mmmmm... chocolate... You start the game, and immediately you can hop into your car and drive around Springfield as much as you want. You never have to think about your next objective. It's all driving, driving, and driving. And it's fun. For a while.

The city is re-created in all its glory in full 3D. Every part of Springfield you've ever seen on the show is here, and you can explore it. 3D Springfield is undeniably the star of the game. Driving around it, visiting familiar locations and discover others which weren't even shown in the TV series (but which fit its theme very well) is a more pleasant experience than following the game's story and missions.

Almost every character from the show you can think of appears in the game. And naturally, all the characters are voiced by the original cast. As far as fan service goes, Hit & Run certainly delivers - though more in quantity than in quality.

The driving itself is fun, and there is something strangely addictive in the game's ridiculous timed missions. You feel compelled to try "just one more time", until... well, until you really can't take it any more.

Destructible environments are perhaps what I liked most in this game. Nothing beats the feeling of methodically crushing everything you see. There are coins hidden pretty much everywhere; destroying poles, telephone booths, and other parts of the city while driving and getting money in the process is definitely the most exciting activity in the game. There are many places to explore; and if you are tired of driving, you can just run around on foot and kick the hell out of the environment.

There are plenty of collectible items to scavenge; people who care for this sort of thing will probably enjoy exploring every corner of the city for yet another Itchy & Scratchy coupon or whatever.

The timed missions are difficult, but the game is much more forgiving than GTA, since it allows you to restart a mission right away (without the annoying driving to destination), and even skip the mission entirely if you fail too many times! This is certainly a feature I would love to see in GTA games.

The Bad
Hit & Run was supposed to deliver us a double amount of fun: that of playing a free-roaming driving game, and that of experiencing high-quality comedy TV-like entertainment. Unfortunately, it fails on both fronts.

Let's first see why Hit & Run is not a very good Simpsons product. I belong to those old-timers for whom Season 3 of The Simpsons was the real deal. I loved the kind, not overly cynical humor of early Simpsons episodes, and its good storytelling - always with a moral meaning, though never didactic or preachy. It is true that the series had different writers, and many of them, especially during the later years, focused more on gags and grotesque and less on what made The Simpsons endearing to me in the first place. However, Hit & Run doesn't even reach the level of some of my less favorite episodes in terms of writing and narrative. It's neither warm and charming, nor amusingly nonsensical - it's just dumb. The plot is almost non-existent, and what is left of it is something that even the least sophisticated Simpsons episode would be ashamed of containing. The characters lack any personality beside assorted one-liners - granted, those are pretty much within the style of the show, but you can't make your writing depend on one-liners, just as you can't make your gameplay depend on timed races (and as we'll soon see, Hit & Run does both).

Playing Hit & Run doesn't feel like participating in a Simpsons experience. You don't get attached to Homer, Marge, Bart, and Lisa the way you did in the series' better episodes. It's also not particularly funny. I barely even smiled when I was playing the game. Sure, they've crammed the city with every Simpsons character and location imaginable, but what's the point if none of these characters and locales truly matters anything? The characters serve only as givers of inane missions, are not tied into the plot, and their appearances are nothing short of pointless. It's like they slapped the license over their game mechanically, without bothering to research what really made the show tick.

It is debatable whether the GTA template is the most fitting one to use for a Simpsons game. Driving and organized crime themes are hardly the trademark of that TV series. That said, I think even this template could have worked if it were used more smartly. Just like with the Simpsons license, the developers of Hit & Run didn't quite understand how GTA games really worked. They obviously thought it was enough to create a virtual city and let the player drive through it. They forgot that the meat and bones of every GTA game were the missions; it was the variety of the missions and the creativity of their design that elevated GTA games above most of its subsequent clones.

Alas, the makers Hit & Run paid no attention to that. The game's missions design is so bad that it borders on ridiculous. Without exaggerating, every mission belongs to one of the three possible templates: 1) race against another car; 2) race against time; and 3) collect X amount of items under a time limit. This inane collection of mind-numbingly repetitive, simplistic, arcadish tasks passes for actual gameplay in this game.

GTA games had a large variety of driving missions plus shooting missions. Obviously, there is no shooting in Hit & Run, but they didn't even bother to replace it with anything else. 99% of the time in Hit & Run is spent in a car, and 99% of that time is spend doing idiotic "missions" such as finding 30 monkeys under 3 minutes (seriously, I haven't made that one up). The example of Bully shows how deep and varied GTA-style gameplay can be without guns (and even without cars!), using a more family-friendly tone. But Hit & Run was created without any concept.

In GTA and in all other comparable games I can think of the missions had something to do with the story. The missions were a way to advance the story; even if their goals were remote from the main objective, they were still logical. Hit & Run lacks this kind of basic logic. The missions in this game have, for the most part, absolutely nothing to do with the story. In order to prevent the aliens from spying on humans with giant bee-like cameras, the Simpsons family has to participate in races and collecting games. Almost all the missions follow the same senseless formula: "I need to save Springfield!" - "Ok, but first help me to find 22 fishes under 2:35 minutes!" - "Okay!"... Mission is over, an equally senseless "talking heads" cutscene follows, and... you must meet character X at location Y! Why? Nobody knows, but the game tells you to! You head to character X, triggering another "cutscene" - "I'd answer your question, but first you'll have to drive to my home under 1:20 minutes! And then find character Z!"... and so on, and so on... there is no end to this, and that's how the entire game plays.

As appealing as virtual Springfield and its characters are, their graphical style is just your basic 3D. Many characters look weird in a three-dimensional outfit (my favorite character, Lisa, doesn't look like herself any more); in my opinion cel-shading would have worked much better here.

And... no mouse support for the PC version? You have to move the camera with Num keys? And you can't even move it up and down properly? And it takes forever to turn it right or left? Was there something wrong with my copy of the game?...

The Bottom Line
Hit & Run clearly proves that it takes more than mixing a great setting with a great gameplay concept to make a great game. It lacks both the wit and the presentation of The Simpsons, and the gameplay depth and variety of GTA; it is a mediocre Simpsons product as well as a mediocre GTA clone.

I think the later Simpsons experiment, The Simpsons Game, is better both as a game and as an incarnation of the series' spirit.