Mass Effect

The Good
[At the time of writing this review, Mass Effect 2 is about to be released in 6 days. Rabbi Guru took the time off to share his thoughts with us about the first game.]

During the reign of Catherine II the Great (one of many female rulers in the overtly feminine russian 18th century), there was this general guy called Potyemkin, who also got to fuck the said empress every now and then. This general Potyemkin was leading the conquest of Crimea and when the empress wanted to see her new lands, general Potyemkin constructed a lot of hollow facades so it would look more impressive. Ever since then, the term Potemkin village is used to describe when someone, usually a backwards totalitarian regime, constructs a special happy village for the western visitors to see how happy life is in that backwards totalitarian regime. Now Mass Effect isn't a totalitarian regime, but it certainly is a backwards game that has a nice facade to fool the world to think that it's the best thing ever. The world, being full of stupid people, bought it and now it depends on me to reveal the lie that Mass Effect is.

Mass Effect is a lie pulled over the eyes of feeble-minded gaming world! Only with Rabbi Guru's intellectual mental discipline can you emancipate your mind from the lies of your society! Become who you are born to be! Cast away Mass Effect and become the revolution! Gamers of the world, unite!

The Secret Conspiracy of Bioware

There once was a small canadian developer called Bioware. It was founded by two doctors who decided to produce games. They gathered a group of people and made couple of nice games in the 90's.

Then at the dawn of the new millennium they made Baldur's Gate II. This game was such a brilliant piece of work balancing brilliantly between story, characters and exploration. It was unformulaic. It was one of the many games in late 90's/early 00's that awakened the individual player. It was a product of the revolution.

But I guess, for some reason, Bioware decided to go on a different path. I guess like Napoleon or Stalin before it, Bioware saw that the winds were changing. And I guess it was right, because Bioware is the only child of the revolution to survive. Troika, Looking Glass Studios, Black Isle, Ion Storm - all dead.

They then made Throne of Bhaal. And that game marks the first usage of standard Bioware formula that has been used to imprison the minds of would-be rpg players ever since.

The standard Bioware formula looks like this: you got 4 locations, you need to go through them but in any order you like, then after the 3rd location something happens, either a plot twist or something similar, then after the plot twist, you go to a fifth location and then you are in the final battle location and game over man, game over!

TOB only created the 4+1 locations part of the formula. Since it was the conclusion of BGII, it did the characters a bit differently than the nowadays standard Bioware formula. Cue Neverwinter Nights for creating the standard party member formula.

In NWN though, they just went crazy with the 4+1 locations. The game has like 4 chapters, and in each chapter there are 4 locations you must battle through to get into the 5th location to finish the chapter. 4+1x4=20 fucking times, the same thing over and over again. Fortunately for Bioware, only the third world of the gaming world played NWN, and thus for most of the world the unspeakable atrocities this game commited remained unknown. It was an experiment commited upon people the world didn't care about, an experiment to create the perfect formula to imprison the world. At first they came for us and you were silent... and then they came for you!

"The rulers of this world live on the backs of the people, and yet the people praise them as benefactors." - Jesus Christ

NWN also introduced a ghastly addition to the formula. The party members. Now you had only one or two with you. You had to speak to them and they told their sad life story. Then you got a quest. You solved it and voila! Instant friends for life! Since NWN was an inhuman experiment, you got to do this 4 times, in each chapter. Now that's just cruel. Also there were four parts for each sad life story. And to unlock those parts you had to wait until you're level was high enough, so they could finish their current sad story of the chapter. It was an inhuman experiment. Many human lives were wasted. Bioware made it's notes and...

Before the globalization of the gaming world in 2000's, gaming world was divided into many different inbred small communities who had no idea what happened in the other village. You had adventure gamers, you had shooter players, rpg fans... in fact adventure gamers are still somewhat a traditional people. I heard that UNESCO planned to add them to it's representative list. You see, when you still visit an adventure gaming community you can still see that really isolated gaming culture of yesterday's world. Those people just have no idea what happens outside their village. They're a living example of what gaming world used to look like.

Anyway, there was also this divide between console gamers and pc gamers. Console gamers grew up on different types of games. Let's think of a standard stereotypical example – a pc gamer might have gone through Monkey Island, Doom, System Shock, Deus Ex and a console gamer most likely was raised with Super Mario, Final Fantasy, Megaman and other consoly stuff like that.

When the globalization of the gaming world started, many pc game developers started to expand into the console world. Bioware was about to expand into the console world. NWN experiment was succesful. They got the formula more or less pinned down. Console gamers were living in their inbred world... and suddenly they got Knights of the Old Republic. The Standard Bioware Formula RPG. But you got to understand that these people had only seen something like Super Mario or Metal Gear. They were overwhelmed. Bioware's strategy was succesful. It managed to convert half-witting sheep into believing that Bioware was a God. Now they never had to perfect the formula, because consolers were raised to like formulas. Bioware had the perfect mass to control. And that's why you still see people claiming that kotor changed their lives or that it is the best rpg of all times.

An ignorant delusion of course. And we'll now dissect the formula of Kotor. First the 4+1x4 of NWN has now been just reduced to 4+1, with a plot twist after the 3rd one. And there's also the starting planet, before you get to choose between planets. You battle through the planets, and you always have this chance to end them in two different ways. Kill that guy or kill the other guy. Deliver item to that guy or to the other guy. Actually make that the formula for every quest. Standard NWN stuff but much more polished.

You also have the party member sad story tied with your levels. Only now there's only one sad story. And of course the sad story ends with a quest. But there's also another thing. The party members themselves are now very familiar. "Didn't I see you in NWN somewhere?" the survivors of that experiment asked themselves. And yes they did see them in NWN. One female character in particular was exactly like a certain female character in NWN. Aribeth meet Bastila. Both of these were love interests to the male characters, with sad stories, and both of these gals turned evil and only the love of the male player can deliver them from the dark side.

There's also Carth, the sad man for female players... who is kinda like the sad man for gals from NWN: Hordes of the Underdark, and the sad man for gals in BGII. With the exception that the BGII sad man was a complete failure amongst gals, while the other two got major followings in slash/fanfic world.

In fact every character was like a mix of different or just a slight alteration of previous Bioware characters. But of course, the consolers who were meant to love this game didn't know this.

Cue success. Bioware now equals rpg's. It's imperialistic conquest of the gaming world was succesful. It's magic formula worked and will never be changed again.

About Mass Effect and what it reveals about the current state of Biowarian Imperialism...

Now we're here with Mass Effect. So what you get? The Learn the Game Zone (Beginning), The Starting Planet (Citadel), the 4+1 Story Locations (with the 4th or 3rd being the OMG PLOT TWIST!!!) and the Final Battle Zone.

And characters? Slightly altered. To unlock their sad stories you don't need levels anymore, but you need to finish one story planet. So their sad story still comes in 4 parts. And not all sad stories end with a quest. And not all sad stories last actually 4 parts. Some go by quicker. Only 3 sad stories end with a quest. And that's it.

And their personalities? Have I still seen them from somewhere before? Yup. Pretty much. Except for Garrus who is completely new type for Bioware, everyone is a variation of Bioware archetypes. One of them, the sad man for gals of this game is even voiced by the sad man for gals from a previous game (Carth).

But that's not the worst of it. The fact that it's the same game since Throne of Bhaal is actually one of the positive things considering the atrocities...

The Bad
Because, the main story only lasts some 12-16 hours, this game like any other rpg game has sidequests. Only those sidequests all happen in one fucking room!

Actually three. There's the mine, space station and some planet quarters thing. You got like 100 sidequests. You go to a planet. You drive with your mako to the location. You go inside, kill a lot of people and quest solved. Then you go to another planet, do the same thing and kill a lot of people... only that it's the same fucking room. Only that crate is in a different location. Can you imagine it? Can you imagine going through the same fucking room for hundreds of times and pretending that this sidequest is "oh so fucking different?" Can you? No you can't! No one can imagine the depravity of this biowarian imperialism, because it scares even ctulhu gods. It's supposed to rob one of his will to live, to make you conform to the standard formula, to become like a sheep in a slaughterhouse. It's evil.

But that's not the worst of it. The story planets themselves are also incredibly formulaic. You get the talking zone, the drive with your car and shoot robots zone, and the other talking zone with combat. Sometimes you go back to the first talking zone to have more combat.

Bioware is now so powerful, that it doesn't bother to make the facade any less formulaic.

And the writing? Oh dear god. It's almost like the people have exclamation marks on them yelling "I'm kill this guy" ,"And I'm kill the other guy" and "I'm the optional kill me guy." And the quests and everything is just lifted from previous games. You've seen these random people with these random problems before. And they're still so... such simplistic writing with no insight.

Random person: "Hello hero, I want to commit abortion. My issue is very edgy."
Hero: 1) "Okay."
2) "Abortion is wrong."
3) "I'm Commander Fucking Shepard! I will blow your brains out!!!"
Random person: "Okay thank you. Wasn't my issue just so edgy and mature?"
Hero: "Yes I have a lot to think about now. Thank you."

About the future...

The future of humanity is very white. It's not like Bioware isn't trying. All other racial looks do get represented. But for some reason there's this general brown look. I mean, you can't tell if the person is supposed to be like Evo Morales or Grace Park, or like Hugo Chavez or Aishwarya Rai because there's only this one general brown look for asians, latinos... heck, even southern europeans. Because in real life their all the same mass of brown people, no? Unfortunate racist implications of the unreal engine I guess.

Player: "Oh hi, Michelle Rodriguez look alike."
NPC: "My name is Fuji Fukomora."

The reason for this could be that except for the main characters, other people aren't designed by hand. Only the main cast is designed by hand. But all the non-alien main cast is white. Only one main character is black. He's also the only black character in the game. The only one that speaks anyway.

And let's not even discuss the fact they market this game with a white anglo-american military boy. Quite problematic.

For a sci-fi to be progressive one really needs to eliminate the percentage of white people from 90% to like 20-30%... because with the mexicanification of US and the rise of China and India... Well, future generations will get to laugh a lot, so that's good.

Actually you can recognize indians, but only because they have funny accents. Sigh...

So we have a very formulaic game with unfortunate racist implications. Anything else? The real-time cover-person combat is, like everything else, also just a facade and descends into a depraved formula quite quickly. Because you mostly just fight in the same room you've been so many times before, and you kill the same enemies again and again... and the level design is just so contrived. You'll be recognizing combat zones immediately because of the amount of obvious obstacles to cover behind.

The only way to get any enjoyment out of this game is when you don't look beyond the facade, but it's impossible not to look beyond the facade, because the facade is just so half-heartedly put together. It's like Potyemkin was drunk when building this village.

Because they don't care anymore. Bioware is blowing it's imperialistic wad at our faces and laughing. It's a mighty empire, and it can do everything it wants and the people will love it. Just like Jesus said above.

But I am asking you, as a human person, as an individual to not let yourself be humiliated like this. Down with Bioware's Imperialistic Wad! Join the revolution. Mass Effect 2 is coming out the next week (at the point of the writing date of this review), and I'm asking you to consider before you succumb to serve Bioware's imperialistic needs again. Think about it.

Because we the people are like that damaged broken girl with daddy issues, and Bioware is like that old guy who protects us and takes care of us. But the question we need to ask from us before we run, like that little girl to her "daddy", to Bioware, to feel like we have a worth in this life, the question is - don't we deserve better? Let us stop for a moment and think about this.

The Bottom Line
I am Rabbi Guru and I endorse this message!

The Good
Until the mid-80s role-playing games were the domain of personal computers. The classics of the genre were deep and immersive, but also cumbersome and dry. During the 8-bit and 16-bit age, a new breed of RPGs conquered the market. Console role-playing games, or CRPGs, were predominantly of Asian production and instead of endless ASCII dungeons, statistics and complicated character management they featured simple game mechanics enriched by memorably cinematic plots and characters. While overlooked by the Western market at first, by now CRPGs have overtaken a seizable niche which during the late 80s until well into the mid-90s ousted classic PC RPGs.

Enter BioWare, formerly Black Isle Studios. Their 1998 masterpiece Baldur's Gate bridged the gap between CRPGs and classic PC RPGs. This development reached its pinnacle with Knights of the Old Republic, a game featuring the well-tested and flexible D&D rules and the prestigious Star Wars franchise to tell an epic tale.

Taking the best of two worlds, certain concessions to the CRPG formula were made - instead of an explorable, open game world more linear areas began to take foot even in Western RPGs. In BioWare's case this culminated in Jade Empire, a game featuring a severely reduced character system, action-based combat and an even smaller and more linear world than KotOR before it.

With Mass Effect BioWare seems to have found back to some of the classic genre's old strengths. While the character system is completely skill-based rather than relying on stats describing the player in-game, it still allows for variance, further aided by an elaborate dialogue system and the customisation of the main characters' outward appearances. Plot decisions, mostly determined through dialogue options, alter the story slightly at key points. Rather than forcing players to listen to their characters repeat their dialogue choices, Mass Effect instead allows them to pick from a condensed list of paraphrases at any time during conversations to determine their characters' reactions. The result is a natural flow of conversation which makes players want to listen to everything said - no small feat for such a talk-heavy game.

Combat in Mass Effect is still action-based but thanks to customisable team members, tactical game pauses and a cover system the game is less of a button-masher than Jade Empire was. Since it plays in the far future melee plays a very minor role in the confrontations. All characters' gear can be upgraded through an increasing amount of upgrade slots. Further seasoning battles are biotic skills, comparable to magic spells, which in Mass Effect take the form of telekinetic powers. Thanks to the character classes it is, however, possible to take an approach more geared towards brute physical force or the sly manipulation of the ever-present technology.

The story puts players in the space boots of a human keeper of the peace in a multi-cultural alien society which hasn't acknowledged humanity's full social rights too long ago and still fights with prejudices against it. The opportunities for conflict in the uneasy congregation of civilizations living off the technological ruins of an ancient race called Protheans are diverse. To delve deeper into the Mass Effect universe's rich background, an in-game encyclopaedia with spoken entries reveals much of the encountered alien races and their common history. Commander Shepard, the player character's unchangeable last name by which he or she is constantly addressed, takes up the mantle of Spectre, a high governmental agent operating outside the legal system to enforce the will of the Council. Such authority is soon needed as a renegade Spectre called Saren appears to have forged an alliance with the Geth, ruthless machine beings bent on destroying biological life using the same eerie threat that wiped out the mysterious Protheans aeons ago.

Like KotOR, Mass Effect assigns players their own spaceship and crew with which they can explore a variety of worlds, either discovering their own little missions or carrying out the orders of the Council and other government officials. The game universe is significantly larger than in KotOR but consists mostly of barren planets with little to find on them. The game's main plot evolves over a series of main missions, each leading players closer to Saren and the forces he's intending to unleash. The game makes good use of its detailed character models and cinematic dialogues and cut scenes to tell a mature science fiction story about prejudice, life's purpose in the universe and a person's impact on it.

The Bad
Mass Effect does a lot of things right and a whole lot of things better than its predecessor Jade Empire. Although also a good game, Jade Empire's simple game mechanics and linearity took away from its role-playing experience. Mass Effect enhances many areas which fell short in Jade Empire but still maintains some of its problems.

The main plot is comparably short for an RPG and can be solved in well under thirty hours, making it even shorter than 40+ hours epics like KotOR. Side missions enhance the game experience only slightly as the assignments tend to be rather generic missions taking place at even more generic locations. While a good deal of systems and their planets can be visited, few are truly worth the players' time. Basically a nice gimmick, the Mako vehicle which players can drive on planet surfaces controls like a bumpy iron lump to which gravity seems to be only a suggestion, not a law. The DLCs aren't too satisfying, either. While the first, Bringing Down The Sky, added a new in-game alien race and was free for PC users to download, the recently released Pinnacle Station DLC requires them to pay five dollars for a mere two to three hours of additional content falling way short of the original program's depth.

Overall the game still feels limited when it comes to character development and exploration. Almost all skills players can learn never affect the game world outside of combat. Although many equipment items and upgrades can be discovered, the game can't hide that there are only a handful of item categories and most differences between items are only gradual.

The main story is linear in spite of several choices players can make along the way and quickly leads up to the finale. Although Mass Effect's story is original and full of its own flavour, some elements feel slightly clichéd, such as the order of the Spectre's with their biotic talents under the control of a world-spanning council and the sinister villain and his horde of faceless henchmen. Even though the game doesn't come with a clear-cut good/evil system to evaluate players' deeds, BioWare hasn't fully emancipated itself yet from some Star Wars-inspired genre conventions - ironically introduced by themselves.

The Bottom Line
Mass Effect innovates while retracing its genre's roots. Its serious and mature plot full of dry, realistic but not uninteresting characters and colourful universe appeals to science fiction lovers both of the Star Wars and Star Trek persuasion. While being somewhat limited in scope and freedom, its plot entertains on a high level. All in all, the game isn't a perfect balance between depth and accessibility yet. Old school RPG lovers will criticise its lack of scope in terms of game time and mechanics while CRPG players may find it too dry and tactical. However, as part one of a sci-fi trilogy set in a rich universe, this first in the Mass Effect franchise holds a lot of promise.

The Good
The story is pretty well-written, and to me, it seemed to be adequately wondrous and science-fiction-like enough. Even when the main plot is relatively simple and ordinary, it made me think about stuff and think about the characters - this is always a good sign. I also appreciate the fact that the game is definitely more of a "science-fiction" game than a "space opera" game; the designers put a lot of effort into writing a backstory and a bunch of technobabble that sounds plausible and well-thought-out. It's not just "it's got spaceship and ray-guns in it".

Graphics and music are top-notch, and the character art and animation is very good. Voice acting never really gets jarring, dialogue works surprisingly well.

This game is also one of the few games I really wanted to pick up for a second playthrough almost immediately afterwards. The game is not too long, yet not too short either.

The Bad
The planets you can land on are quite fun to explore, and the sidequest missions are interesting enough, but the problem is that the planets are rather bland and the sidequests are set in The Mine or The Base or The Other Kind of Base or The Spaceship - there's literally one map for each submission, with the interior objects slightly changed. This doesn't allow for much variation, and you can pretty much figure out a single strategy for them and then just say "Okay, now we're raiding The Base, here's my tried-and-true plan".

The firefights are chaotic to say the least. The enemies have absolutely no strategy, and they just run around a lot, usually scurrying around just as you're about to aim at them. This is compounded by the fact that your squadmates have no strategy either, and when these enemies scurry out of your line of fire, your squadmates offer to put their heads on the line of fire, instead, just as you pull the trigger.

Some of the game mechanics remain obscure. I was half-way through the game until I finally "got" some of the subtleties of the game - and could have played through without really getting them.

Yet, none of this is all that big. Even when blandness sometimes shows, the main plot definitely makes up for it.

The Bottom Line
Welcome to an epic science-fiction tale where the humanity has uncovered mysterious alien technology to allow faster-than-light jumping around the galaxy, and met several interesting alien species. Humankind is just about to be admitted to the greater galactic bureaucracy as one of the prominent races. And we, on the other hand, have to go examine the exploits of the crew of humanity's most advanced spaceship. The first call is to examine a rather mysterious conflict that is quickly unfolding in a rather sleepy planet; this immediately leads to the trail of a new threat to all sentient organic races.

The humankind, of course, does what it does best, as far as fiction is to be believed: kicking butt. Mass Effect is a tactical third-person shooter... and a RPG... and you get to drive around in an APC too... oh, and you have a starship and you get to conduct some exploration too. Dialogue is a heavy part of the game: situations can be often solved with guns or through eloquent or threatening speech. The character is given choice between acting nicely and heroically ("Paragon"), or just getting the job done no matter what it takes ("Renegade"). Not really a good vs. evil system, but close. These choices award points which are tracked independently; the better you are at either, you also get the chance to be more persuasive or intimidating.

The player controls a squad of up to three people; each character has unique talents and strengths. The player character, Shepard, can be customised as well. At your disposal you have a bunch of different weapons (grenades, assault rifles, pistols, shotguns and sniper rifles) that come in different makes and models and can be customised with various kinds of mods. Different character types can use different weapons to their advantage. When the characters level up, they learn new powers. Aside of conventional weaponry, there's a bunch of biotic powers that are extremely handy. When you land on planets, you also have at your disposal an armoured vehicle, called Mako, that has the necessary big guns.

In short, Mass Effect is a really well-done science fiction RPG, with only minor flaws that don't really take away too much from fun. It has tons of engaging dialogue, has a well-crafted milieu, and enough interesting plot twists to keep you busy.