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Totally Smashed (DOS)

Totally Smashed DOS Main menu


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A LORD clone with somewhat meager backstory and character motivation, this BBS door puts the protagonist (that's you, bub) in a wicked near-future town where a mysterious force is possessing the residents and compelling them to conduct unsavory and anti-social activities, most of which involve brutal hand weapons with decidedly silly names.

The solution to the town's problems involves your engaging these deranged townsfolk in serial and repetitive single-keypress combats and attempting to decipher obscene menu options scrawled using entirely high-ASCII characters never intended to be used in the place of letters -- but they are fitting nonetheless for such unusual RPG options as [T]ake a Dump (see trivia) and [Z]lap your Monkey


Totally Smashed DOS Hanging out in the bar
Totally Smashed DOS Main menu
Totally Smashed DOS Backstory
Totally Smashed DOS Flirting with the women

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In the documentation, sandwiched neatly between chapter headings 4. Using it as A Door Game and 6. Registering is item 5. Taking A Dump
    1.  Goto your bathroom                   
    2.  Unzip/unbutton your pants
    3.  Sit firmly but softly on the toilet
    4.  PUSH!!!
    5.  Wipe
    6.  Get up
    7.  Zip/button up your pants
    8.  Walk out
    9.  Look refreshed
    10.  Tell your brother/sister/mother/father/uncle/aunt/cousin/nephew/sibling
    /friend/penpal/me/computer/roommate/teacher/principal/gaspumper/anybody that you feel very refreshed.
(How can you tell that this program was written by a 13-year-old?)

(At least most 13-year-olds have the good sense to wash their hands when they're done!) (...I hope!)

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Pseudo_Intellectual (61334) added Totally Smashed (DOS) on May 16, 2007