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Written by  :  MasterMegid (902)
Written on  :  Jul 14, 2009
Rating  :  0 Stars0 Stars0 Stars0 Stars0 Stars

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Nintendo's New Coke

The Good

My Face Is On Fire!

In my never ending quest, to review, at least one game for every console/computer, ever made. I am led to the Virtual Boy. Remember this one? Possibly Nintendo’s biggest blunder.(It is up there with New Coke, as one of the biggest blunders of all time.-MM-) For one it was all in red, and for two, it had a horrible controller, and the “Virtual” was lame.

As the name, implies, you play tennis. As Mario and his friends.

I decided to review Mario Tennis. The first in the long running series, and one of the only Virtual Boy games I have ever played. I would like to make special mention of something, that has been bugging me. It seems that there are actually people that think that this rubbish was a good console. No joke. Actually, the review is right here on Moby.

Which, just goes to show you, no matter how dumb something is there is always someone that thinks it is great. Some one out there must have enjoyed Transformers 2, for example. And I am sure there is some one out there that thinks that the Apple Lisa, was a great computer. And that Tom Cruise deserves an Oscar.

They claim, that in was a “conspiracy” to kill the Virtual Boy. Even though, it was only because of the fact that it was a piece of shit. You see, bad products fail. That is how it works, like how the PS3 is failing.

This knucklehead, even wrongly alleges, that, you are supposed to take a break from videogames, every 15 minutes. When it is actually, a 15 minute break, every hour. I hate when nitwits try to manipulate, the facts to prove their idiotic view point.

This game started a franchise, that would eventually be good. On the N64, and Gamecube.

The Bad

If you played this game to long, or any game of this horrid system, you would get huge headaches. And your eyes would hurt. And most likely you would be seeing red for a while.

This torture device was also very hard to use. As it was very uncomfortable. Like being in the back of a Volkswagen.

But the gameplay sucks. All the tennis arena's look the same. There is no multiplayer. And the game it self is dull and bland. At least future games in the series would correct this.

I think, that Nintendo made this to mock there fan base. Yet some of these dopes actually bought into it. One of the dumbest things that proponents of clap-trap always claim is that Nintendo made it red, because using more colors would have been to expensive. Then why bother? If you ever want a laugh read Nintendo Power’s article, in which they actually praise this shit-ass machine.

The Bottom Line

If you actually have like the Virtual Boy, then, I have a question for you. What are you on, that makes you so delusional?