Sir Gofermajster @Gofermajster

Doom (DOS)

Undoubtedly, a classic game.

The Good
It's engine is much better than this from Wolfenstein 3D - maps are no longer enormous mazes, you can at least extinguish rooms, because they have different heights, floors, cellings and shapes. There are also some windows and outdoor areas.

Weaponry is also much bigger than in Wolf 3D. There is shotgun, rocket launcher, plasma rifle or even chainsaw - and obviously there are even more weapons, which you can use against zombies, demons and other monsters. Game is well balanced, you will never run out of ammo in room fulfilled with evil creatures or walk through long, empty corridors without any enemy.

Also, soundtrack is also good - music varies from MIDI powered metal music to scary ambient tracks. Sounds are more realistic than from other games at the time. And last, but not least, Doom, as first FPS in the world, introduced multiplayer - with two types of gameplay (co-op and deathmatch) for max. 4 players.

The Bad
Only two things - I managed to beat it in three hours (however you can download a lot of user-made levels). Also, Doom requires a source port if you want to play it under Windows or Linux. You can run it using DOSBox, but it's too much tweaking and ports add some new features, like 3D models or more detailed maps.

The Bottom Line
It's absolutely classic - it doesn't matter if you play only Solitaire or Minesweeper, you have to get this game and play at least one!

By Sir Gofermajster on September 6, 2009

Hocus Pocus (DOS)

Solid game without anything spectacular

The Good
Hocus Pocus has lovely graphics - it beats Xargon, Vinyl Goddess from Mars or sometimes even Jazz Jackrabbit! Music is in MIDI format, and it matches levels very well. There are cheerful melodies, spooky tunes and oriental themes. Enemies differ in various levels, so you will encounter giant mushrooms (sound familiar?) and crocodiles in first levels, and later you will face Eskimos in snow levels and bear-like monsters in scary castles.

The Bad
There are only few music tracks, so they repeat frequently. Also, level design is repetitive - for example, Arabian levels use almost the same tileset as Egyptian levels - only pyramides are absent and mosques are added. As I said, enemies are different in various levels, however they are stick to one of three schemes: "fly-and-shoot", "walk-and-shoot" or "just-walk". Also, there aren't any special features like map (Xargon), 3D bonus level (Jazz Jackrabbit) or minigame (Commander Keen) and game can be finished very quickly.

The Bottom Line
Overall, it's a good game, however without any originality. It beats most of Apogee's EGA platform games or earlier Moonlite Software side-scrollers, but it's inferior to Jazz Jackrabbit. Personally, I think it's worth throwing those few bucks when you find this game in a flea market.

By Sir Gofermajster on August 28, 2009

Hexen: Beyond Heretic (DOS)

Enormous switch hunt in scary castles.

The Good
It's scary game - this vibe is achieved by gripping music and level design. You will walk in old, ruined castles, marshes, caves, chapels and other places. Sounds are wonderful - they're realistic and help building the vibes. Even Quake and Duke Nukem haven't such good ambient sounds as Hexen.

Most of Heretic's features are also present in Hexen - there's inventory (there are some new items, like Dark Servant, which summons Maulotaur to help you, however Tome of Power is absent), flying and looking up and down. Hexen also introduces jumping and scripting. So, there are earthquakes, falling bridges, and . Level design is also different - there is a "hub system", as in Quake 2 or Heretic 2.

Unlike Heretic, you can select one of three characters in the game. They have not only different look, they use completely different weapons! For example, Fighter uses weapons like axe or sword, when Mage has magical staffs. Also, multiplayer allows max. 8 players during gameplay.

The Bad
Puzzles are really difficult - In Doom and Heretic you found keys and switches in passing. Not here. You sometimes have to search for switch in four enormous levels only to reveal another switch in another level. And that switch lowers platform, there's a key on the switch, the key opens a door, behind a door there is another switch... and so on, and so on. Puzzles should be the same as in Heretic 2 - much easier and more enjoyable.

The Bottom Line
Well, if you're looking for more puzzle-oriented FPS, then Hexen is for you. Its creepy atmosphere and hordes of monsters to slay will keep you entertained.

By Sir Gofermajster on August 13, 2009

Moorhuhn Kart XXL (Windows)

I wish Moorhuhn ended up in my KFC bucket.

The Good
Well, those 'beeps' in menu are funny. And characters in the game look pleasantly, unlike rest of the game.

The Bad
Almost everything - besides go-carts graphics are simple (only available resolution is 800x600, what is low for 2002) and locations are undetailed. Music? All tracks are few seconds long, and there are only 6 of them.

There are only 3 types of gameplay - time trial, grand prix and split-screen for 2 persons. Time trial rest on doing three laps in shortest possible time, while in grand prix you race against 4 opponents in 5 different maps. Yes, you've read it right - only 5 maps! They are so short, that you can beat them in two minutes. So, you can beat whole game in 10 minutes. That's ridiculous!

Your opponents are stupid - it can be easily noticed on ice level. They will falling to the abyss all the time, so you can finish the race while most of your competitors didn't finished first lap! Also, there are some shortcuts in the game, which you can use, but your enemies never use them. Oh, by the way - there are 5 different drivers to choose, but there are no difference between them in driving.

There are also some power-ups, which you can collect and use. You may use nitro, invulnerability shield, big hammer; and, sadly, big anvils. They can be thrown on randomly picked racer. Imagine such situation: you're on the first place, you're approaching finishing line, and... there falls big anvil from nowhere on you! Obviously, it stops you for some time, so all your opponents outrun you and you lose. Can you imagine anything more annoying?

This game is in English. However, on statistics screen you notice some German words, like Spielername (player's name), Zeit (time) and Schneemann (snowman).

The Bottom Line
It's a poor game, probably only little children will have fun on this game. However, most of children at the time would pick most probably Need for Speed. Let me give you a good advice - don't buy it. It's one of the worst racing games ever, and the only worse game from this is Big Rigs.

By Sir Gofermajster on August 8, 2009

Doom II (DOS)

Rather a expansion pack than sequel, however still playable.

The Good
There's 32 brand new maps, 9 new monsters (including annoying Arch-Vile), completely new music, and one new weapon - a very useful double-barreled shotgun. And like its prequel, it's incredibly fun to play.

The Bad
It's too similar to original Doom! Weapons, pick-ups and decorations are taken directly from Doom, graphics remain unchanged, no tweaks like looking up and down or jumping are introduced, and multiplayer is unchanged! And those two bonus maps are converted from Wolfenstein 3D - lack of ideas? Laziness? Or it's just an attempt to make some easy money - by throwing new maps and selling them as sequel?

The Bottom Line
Maybe I'm exaggerating a bit, but it's rather a mission pack than a sequel. However, when we'll stop carping at the game, it's getting incredibly fun to play, just like Doom. So let's stop carping and start to annihilate those demons...

By Sir Gofermajster on August 2, 2009

Heretic (DOS)

Doom + medieval scenery = Heretic

The Good
Raven introduced here some interesting gizmos to the game - you can look up and down and fly. There's also an inventory, so you can carry with you some magical items, for example:

• quartz flasks, which heal you
• tomes of power, which make weapons work in a different way
• morph ovums, which turn your enemies into chickens (and you, if you're not careful)
• and torches, rings of invulnerability, and more.

Unlike Doom, Heretic has more detailed plot, however in the end it comes to "one-against-everybody" scheme. This time you will massacre monsters in caves, medieval castles and underwater fortress. They are varied - you'll encounter golems, wizards, gargoyles, ophidians (half snake, half human) and undead knights.

Music is brilliant (however not so brilliant as in Hexen), it's scary and gripping. My personal favourites are tracks from E1M4 and E2M4. Map design and graphics are as good as those from Doom.

The Bad
It's sometimes too similar to Doom - most of weapons are just repainted Doom weapons, and gameplay is almost unchanged - you run through rooms fulfilled with monsters and from time to time you search for keys. Also, multiplayer is the same as in Doom - only cooperative and deathmatch are present here.

The Bottom Line
Most of people look upon Heretic as modification of Doom. However, it won't hurt to play. Today you can download a source port which can add 3D models and hi-res textures, so the game will be much more enjoyable.

By Sir Gofermajster on August 2, 2009

Quake (Windows)

By Sir Gofermajster on August 1, 2009

Rise of the Triad: Dark War (DOS)

Bizarre, gory and entertaining FPS

The Good
It has a lot of bizarre things which you won't find in any other FPS - tell me, have you ever seen a dog-mode (you transform into an immortal dog), poisonous mushrooms or Excali-bat in any other game? Rise of the Triad (or simply ROTT) has many bonuses, i. e. Adrenaline Bonus for 100% kills and Supercharge Bonus for collecting all power-ups, and Bonus Bonus - for achieving every possible bonus.

Your weaponry mostly consists of various types of rocket launchers - heatseekers, drunk missiles and many more. You can also use pistols (holding one in each hand) and MP-40, both with infinite ammo, or mentioned earlier Excali-bat. Your enemies look like Nazi guards from Wolfenstein 3D, however now they can throw a web to fetter you or even pretend being dead!

Sounds are good, music is much better than soundtrack in Wolf 3D, and multiplayer is outstanding - it has more gameplay types than Doom. There's even Capture the Flag (it's called here "Capture the Triad")! Keep in mind that it was few years before releasing a CTF mod for Quake.

The Bad
The engine - it's the same engine used in Wolfenstein 3D. It's modified, however flaws from Wolf 3D still exist in ROTT:

• maps are one-leveled (it's partially solved by anti-gravity pads);
• some of them are enormous mazes;
• they aren't so realistic as Doom levels;
• forget about floors and ceilings which differ in different rooms. Floor, celling, level height and brightness change only when you progress to next level.

The Bottom Line
Well, ROTT has a lot of interesting features and lousy engine. However, it's still fun to play this game, just forget about engine issues and don't take this game seriously ;)

By Sir Gofermajster on July 31, 2009

Vinyl Goddess from Mars (DOS)

Just another average platform game.

The Good
This game has improved graphics and sound when compared to Jill of the Jungle. It's also much longer than whole trilogy of Jill. Design of monsters is original. Levels are in the similar style as those in Xargon. Vinyl also has a much bigger weaponry than Jill.

The Bad
Unfortunately, Vinyl isn't as fun to play as Jill. It lacks of any puzzles, you can't transform into anything, and it lacks of any originality. Forget about buying power-ups or anything. Also, there isn't any level editor for Vinyl, so it has nothing more to offer after finishing it.

The Bottom Line
However, if you were fan of Jill of the Jungle and Xargon, or you just love old-school 2D platform games, you should try. It's a good game, but not excellent. You will forget about the game a week after finishing Vinyl.

By Sir Gofermajster on July 26, 2009

Bod Blob (Windows)

Good logical platform game.

The Good
It's one of those sparse games which require some thinking. You have to think through your movements on each level. Game supports a joystick. Graphics are quite nice, despite low resolution. Also, this game has low system requirements - you can run it on very old computer.

The Bad
Music and Blob's speech are good put repetitive. You will surely want to turn it off after some time. Unfortunately, there is no English version of the game and no level editor.

The Bottom Line
Well, "Bod Blob" is good to play during a break in the work, however not so good to play it all night long. Also, if you don't like puzzle games, don't install it. However, if you like playing Sokoban, you will like this game.

By Sir Gofermajster on July 23, 2009

Age of Empires II: The Conquerors (Windows)

It's even more fun to play than AoK.

The Good
This time, we get 4 new campaigns, 5 new civilisations (two of them, Aztecs and Mayans, use their own tileset) and 11 new units (most of them are unique units). All civilisations (even those from AoK) have their own special technology, unavailable to other civilisations. There are also 3 new gameplay styles in Random Map - Defend a Wonder, Wonder Race and King of the Hill.

The Conquerors contains few interface changes, such as reseeding farms and more intelligent villagers (for example, after building Lumber Camp they automatically start woodcutting).

Graphics and sounds remain unchanged from Age of Kings. Encyclopedia is now much bigger.

The Bad
Unlike Rise of Rome, there aren't any units which radically change gameplay (like Scythe Chariots and Armoured Elephants from RoR), and player who choose Aztecs and Mayans due to historical reasons can't build Stables, so they lack of good counterpart of Mangonels and Trebuchets. And once again, eastern Europe is omitted in game.

The Bottom Line
Well, if you liked Age of Kings, you will also like The Conquerors. You should at least download a trial version to give it a try.

By Sir Gofermajster on July 21, 2009

Age of Empires II: The Age of Kings (Windows)

A must-have for every RTS fan.

The Good
This game has lovely graphics - it's a pure pleasure to look at those beautiful houses and towers. Proportions of buildings are now improved - you won't see a catapult bigger than stable anymore. People are now much more detailed and environment is much more realistic and varied. Despite being a 2D game, AoE2 still looks good.

Sounds are much more varied than in Age of Empires - instead of saying the same "roggan?" now your villagers are speaking in their native language - when you play Franks, they will speak in French, when Britons - English and so on. Samples of weapons are much better and more realistic than in AoE.

This time, you have 5 campaigns, where you will take place of Joan d'Arc, Saladin, Barbarossa and other famous people. Every mission has short spoken intro and outro. Objectives can change during a gameplay. Most of missions have some scripted interludes. I have to admit, that campaigns are the best thing in whole game.

And of course, there is also a random map, taken almost directly from Age of Empires, but there are some significant differences: first, maps are much bigger and more detailed. Second, there are 13 new civilisations like Vikings, Mongols and Saracens. And third, Ensemble Studios added new gameplay type - Regicide. In Regicide, you try to kill enemy's king, while protecting yours king. Obviously, you can still win by building a Wonder, collecting all relics and simply destroying your opponent.

Your army is now much more intelligent than in AoE, you can change formation of your detachments, and your soldiers don't lose their way anymore. As in AoE, you have plenty of units to train - cavalry archers, camels, trebuchets, galleons, battering rams, and more. Moreover, each civilisation has its own unique unit, unavailable to others. Obviously, there are plenty of technologies which improve your army. Once again, computer player is aggressive and won't let you get bored.

Also, there is a small encyclopaedia. Maybe it doesn't alter a gameplay, but it's nice addition to a game.

The Bad
Well, this section will be short - for unknown reason central and eastern Europe is omitted in the game. And that's all.

The Bottom Line
You may skip Age of Empires, but you have to play it's sequel, if you like RTS. There are still many people who play it by LAN or Internet, so you shouldn't have problems with finding somebody to play.

By Sir Gofermajster on July 20, 2009

Age of Empires: The Rise of Rome (Windows)

More missions, more units, more fun.

The Good
Well, there are 4 extra campaigns, 4 additional civilisations (each uses the same tileset), 5 new units (some of them, like Slinger and Camel Rider are rather useless, while Scythe Chariot is a very good unit) some new technologies and maps.

Ensemble Studios also added some tweaks to the gameplay, for example double-clicking on unit selects all visible units of the same type and pressing F11 will show you how many soldiers do you have and how many you can train.

The Bad
Unfortunately, I could copy "the bad" section from my Age of Empires review without doing any changes, because there are still some flaws from original AoE: you can still have problems with commanding your army, and there are bad proportions of units. Ensemble Studios fixed these problems in Age of Empires 2, however.

The Bottom Line
If you liked Age of Empires, you will probably like Rise of Rome, too. You will get some new missions, and you'll appreciate those little tweaks in interface. If you are unsure, download a trial version - there are 3 missions unavailable in full version.

By Sir Gofermajster on July 20, 2009

Age of Empires (Windows)

Old, but still good RTS.

The Good
Age of Empires contains 36 missions divided to 4 campaigns. All of them has good historical description. Moreover, you can play on randomly generated map. You can set numbers of enemies, resources, civilisations (there are 12 civilisations to choose - each of them has different line-up of units and technologies) and more. There are various ways to win - you can destroy all your opponents, capture all artefacts, build a wonder and even more.

Obviously, you can't win without army - you can train axemen, horse archers and hoplites. Additionally, you can construct chariots and catapults. Your army can be upgraded by researching technologies. You should also build towers and walls to protect yourself from enemy's attacks. And believe me, computer player is hard to destroy and likes to attack you frequently.

Naturally, there is multiplayer. Even today you can find somebody to play it using TCP/IP or Internet. Graphically the game looks good, despite being only a 2D game.

The Bad
Unfortunately, controlling your army is difficult. There are no formations, and your soldiers can spread out or lose their way in narrow places.

In AoE also appears frequently very annoying situation - you have to destroy every unit of your enemy to win, so if there's single enemy unit and it's on the other side of map, you have to find it and destroy it. You can spend a lot of time searching of this unit...

Your units lack of proportions - for example, your stables are as big as your catapults, and your little transport ship can carry 5 elephants bigger than ship itself. There are 4 sets of buildings instead for 12 civilisations - Egyptian, Greek, Mesopotamian and Asiatic. So, Phoenicians use Greek tileset, despite the fact that they were unrelated to Greeks in any way, and Sumerians use Egyptian tileset. Moreover, units' appearance doesn't differ in the game, so you can train Greek hoplites when you are playing as Japanese.

Game uses a CD audio music or MIDI music, but watch out - some re-releases don't contain CD audio music, and MIDI music isn't good enough to listen to.

The Bottom Line
If you like RTS games, you should play it - it's one of most influential games in the history, and it's very entertaining, despite few flaws. Just download a patch, disable music and set the highest resolution. You can still download a trial version, which contains 6 missions unavailable in full version.

By Sir Gofermajster on July 20, 2009

Worms 4: Mayhem (Windows)

Worms 3D + bunch of insignificant tweaks = Worms 4

The Good
In comparison with Worms 3D this game contains some new weapons, like sentry gun, mine factory or fat kid. During the gameplay you can receive trophies. Trophies are given for many achievements, like collecting enormous amount of weapon crates or killing a group of worms with single sheep. Moreover, after completing every mission you earn some virtual money. You can buy with them new hats for your worms, maps or weapons. Your team is highly customizable - you can change look of your worms (they can wear hats, gloves, glasses and moustache), their special weapon (which you can create) and other things, such as their flag, grave, speech etc. Team17 also added to the game a weapon factory and some new game types for multiplayer.

The Bad
Despite presence of new weapons I can guarantee that you will mostly use shotgun, bazooka and grenade. Those novelties are rare and not so powerful like good old Holy Hand Grenade. Most of players will probably buy every map and weapon, but later they won't buy anything more. Why? Because after buying every map and weapon there are only new hats and speeches are left, and they mostly aren't worth buying. Weapon factory is very limited - you can create only your own bazooka, grenade and air-raid. Moreover, your weapons cannot be very powerful - there's an indicator which tells you if your gun is too powerful and won't let you save it, unless you decrease it's strength. Team17 also limited possibilities of map generator in multiplayer, without any rational reason. Some new features like teleports, gas barrels, and mine factories are rather annoying. Graphics and sounds aren't very different from Worms 3D, released two years earlier.

The Bottom Line
If you don't have Worms 3D, you will be pleased with this game. It's very good to play it with friend. However, if you bought Worms 3D earlier, think twice - there aren't many differences between these two games.

By Sir Gofermajster on June 30, 2009

Electroman (DOS)

Wanna play something REALLY hard?

The Good
Well, at the beginning it's pretty fun. Lots of room to explore and robots to destroy. Later it gets worse, but we're now talking about GOOD things in this game, so let's skip it. You have to think in some places, for example how to reach a platform. And that's good - compare it with Jill of the jungle or Hocus Pocus. Puzzles in these games were too easy, unlike "Electro Man".

The Bad
There isn't any music, graphics and sound are poor (in "Electro Body" - in "Electro Man" it isn't so bad), and it's way too hard! I don't mean here puzzles (they were okay, remember?), but other annoying things, like ammo, which disappears, lack of any "health indicator" (when you hit anything what is not a floor, you die) and strange jumping of our hero can be a real pain in a butt. Not to mention other obvious things, like saving only in checkpoints, very long levels and enormous number of enemies. Whoa! Even Jazz Jackrabbit 1 wasn't SO hard! But if you beat one level, you feel a very BIG satisfaction! "Electro Man" is probably the hardest 2D platform game in history.

The Bottom Line
If you're a hardcore platform games fan, you may play it. Otherwise, don't run it - it's veeeeery difficult.

By Sir Gofermajster on September 27, 2008

Jazz Jackrabbit 2 (Windows)

A good game for whole family

The Good
I really enjoyed playing this game. It contains many different locations and enemies, like first "Jazz Jackrabbit". There are also the same weapons, but Epic added some new ones, such as freezer, heat-seeker and pepper spray. But it's good to conserve ammo for bosses, and killing regular enemies with blaster. Blaster has once again unlimited ammo.

Game is much easier than it's prequel. There aren't insanely hard levels like Orbitus from "Jazz 1". But fights with bosses can be a real pain in a butt (especially queen, bolly boss and Devan himself, while other are fairly easy, like tuf turtle boss and robot).

You can select two completely different characters to play: Jazz or Spaz. Jazz, for example, use his "ear-copter", while Spaz can smash enemies by his feet.

Graphically it looks good, even today. Everything looks like taken from cartoon movie. "Jazz 2" also introduces more complicated backgrounds than "Jazz 1". I really enjoyed "psycho" and "jungle" levels design. Sound effects are brilliant. Music is like from first "Jazz" but in much better quality.

"Jazz 2" also contains multiplayer! You can play on split-screen, through LAN or Internet. Multi has five types of gameplay: cooperative (you're playing the same levels like in single player, but with friends), deathmatch, race (you've got to run through level several times), treasure hunt (collect 100 diamonds and run to the exit) and capture the flag (yes, CTF in platform game!). When you buy this game, you also get "Jazz Creation Station" (abbreviated to "JCS"), which let you create your own levels!

The Bad
When you want to play "Jazz 2" by LAN or Intenet, you can't play race and cooperative. I completely don't know why they aren't included.

Maximal screen size is 640x480. That's odd - other games released in 1998 had much bigger screen size. One episode contain levels based on three first planets from "Jazz 1": Diamondus, Tubelectric and Medivo. Designers were run out of ideas?

And the worst thing are walls - you can sometimes jump into walls and get stuck. You can see it in the end of "castle" levels, when you defeat queen. While in original episodes it only appears in this level, in some user-made levels it appears very often, especially in levels converted from "Jazz 1", which had many narrow tunnels, like in Diamondus.

The Bottom Line
Well, "the good" section is much longer than this "bad" section. Despite these bad things, you will probably enjoy this game. I always keep this game for parties - simple rules and split screen for max. 4 players make this game perfect for such things.

By Sir Gofermajster on August 31, 2008

Ken's Labyrinth (DOS)

Rather engine-demo than a game.

The Good
It has some interesting features, like standing high and low or buying apples and weapons. You can get money by collecting it or... playing slot machine.You can also drink water from tap, just like in Duke Nukem 3D to heal yourself. You will face many different enemies during gameplay, such as spider, bees and aliens. This game is suitable for children, because unlike other shooters, this game doesn't contain blood or gibbing.

The Bad
Every FPS similar to Wolfenstein 3D or Ken's Labyrinth gets boring very quickly. You've got to get through enormous labyrinth and keep pressed spacebar to find secrets. Oh, and destroy some enemies. In later shooters, such as Doom levels are much more complicated and enjoyable. But here, in Ken's Labyrinth, almost every level is in the beginning boring, and later frustrating. Graphics aren't amazing - like in Wolfenstein 3D, there aren't floor and ceiling textures. But some textures are just stupid - Mr. Silverman's head and "GO THROUGH THIS WALL" text? Sound effects aren't very spectacular, just one guy is saying "ouch!" and "boom!". And music... there are no words to describe it. Oh, I'm sorry, there is one: "crap".

The Bottom Line
This game looks like demo of some 3D engine. If you're under 7 years old, and you really want to play FPS, you may try playing it, but probably you'd get bored after 15 minutes. If you're over 7 years old, don't bother. Go and get Wolfenstein 3D.

By Sir Gofermajster on August 28, 2008

Jazz Jackrabbit 2: The Secret Files (Windows)

One new character. One new episode. Many hours fulfilled with happiness.

The Good
Now you can once again blast armies of turtles, but this time you can choose a new character - Lori. She has ability of use "ear-copter" like Jazz, and she can punch her enemies like Spaz. You also get a whole new episode and a PLENTY of user-made levels (most of them are multiplayer levels). In this new episode, called "The Secret Files" (abbreviated to "TSF") you will fight in haunted house, city (not this Victorian city from "Jazz 2"!) and land of (probably) never-ending easter. Of course new music is included.

The Bad
The same things as in original "Jazz 2" - small screen size, problems with wall clipping, but there comes one more: "TSF" allows levels with bigger tileset (tileset is a image, which contains elements used to construct levels), so these level are unplayable in regular "Jazz 2". And these "easter" levels look like "carrotus" levels, but they are colored differently.

The Bottom Line
If you enjoyed "Jazz Jackrabbit 2", you will also like this one. These new levels are very fun to play. And, of course, multiplayer is allowed, so play it with your friends! And don't forget to make breaks to eat and toilet ;)

By Sir Gofermajster on August 26, 2008

Xargon (DOS)

"Jill" meets "Duke" in strange, unknown world.

The Good
In other action games plot is usually very short and it isn't very important. But not here. "Xargon" has very interesting plot. That's good. This game looks great. All those 256-colored monsters and locations are wonderful. Music and sounds are similar to those from "Jill of the jungle". By the way, whole game is very similar to "Jill". You have once again map-based world, puzzles, and different types of weapons. This time you can use laser bullets, rocks and fireballs. You can also grab a "fast-fire bullet" and emeralds. You can buy with them a health unit, laser bullet and much more. During the game you will transform in a bumblebee (like in "Jill", but there you were transformed into a flamebird) and you will travel with submarine Unfortunately, not yellow... "Xargon" is also much harder and longer than whole "Jill of the jungle" series.

The Bad
You can collect pool balls with letters E, P, I and C. Collecting them all gives you a bonus points. Haven't I seen similar bonus earlier? Yes, I've seen something like that in "Duke Nukem". Moreover, boxes with pick-ups and bombs are also taken from "Duke". Unfortunately, "Xargon" only mixes good ideas from other platform games, without giving anything original. Oh, maybe only this emeralds. But heck with that, it's not so important. The worse thing is saving only on map-based world. You can't save your game during playing any level. And the last thing is, that you can play "Xargon" only using VGA with 256 colors.

The Bottom Line
"Xargon" is amusing platform game with good graphics. Download a demo and play it. It's worth your time.

By Sir Gofermajster on August 17, 2008

OverKill (DOS)

I have played worse things

The Good
Overkill is a space-shooter. You will begin your adventure with destroying a group of aliens like in Galaxian, but later you will visit a alien base and you have to get out of it. It's a bit difficult, but not too much. This game uses only 16 colors, but starships and installations are detailed and look good. There is also music written in MIDI. Oh, by the way, there is also a "boss-key", so this game is suitable for work ;)

The Bad
There isn't any option to save your game or jump to other level. Moreover, sound effects are for PC Speaker, so you can hear only "beeps" in this game. It's odd, because there were games, where Sound Blaster effects were used. Thankfully, you can disable this "beeping".

The Bottom Line
If you're looking for EGA-powered space shooter, you won't find anything better. But if you want something with better graphics and sound effects, don't bother. Find another game.

By Sir Gofermajster on August 15, 2008

Jazz Jackrabbit (DOS)

Very fun and very hard platformer

The Good
This game has a TONS of levels: to beat the game, you must fight in 57 levels in 28 different planets (of course in CD version). Not to mention secret levels and 3D bonus levels, where you have to collect gems to receive extra life. You will fight in medieval castles, jungle, cities and finally in Twin Battleships. Of course, you aren't unarmed: you can use blaster with infinite ammo, rockets, flamethrower, grenades and TNT, but it's better to conserve your arsenal for bosses and killing enemies by blaster. By the way, there are many different creatures to destroy, such as bees, turtles, scorpions, snowmen and big flowers. Technically, it looks wonderful. Lovely backgrounds, animals, sprites for 3D bonus levels and cinematics. Music is written for Sound Blaster with large amount of samples. And it changes very often, you won't get bored. Sounds are just good - there isn't anything brilliant.

The Bad
Unfortunately, there are some bad things in Jazz Jackrabbit. First, when you save your game, and you will load it later, you will be only warped to level, where you saved. Game "forgets" about your ammo, lifes, score... heck, it even forgets about your progress in level! Second, game is sometimes a way too hard. If you tried to beat Orbitus levels or this moment in Raneforus, where apes fall from the sky, you know what am I talking about. And finally, it's hard to run under Windows XP. If you will optimize DOSbox to run Jazz, it will be unplayable for other games. Personally, I use VDMSound, but it isn't perfect too. I can't select ultra-high quality sound, like I was used to in Windows ME, because game will slow down... I don't know, what problems are under Vista, but I just don't want to know...

The Bottom Line
If you're looking for a good platform game for DOS, "Jazz Jackrabbit" is something for you. There wasn't anything better than Jazz... until "Jazz 2" came out. By the way, you can freely download a shareware episode and two Christmas-themed episodes, which gives you 13 levels of fun. Get them immediately!

By Sir Gofermajster on August 13, 2008

Kiloblaster (DOS)

It should be "Kilocrap", not "Kiloblaster".

The Good
To tell the truth, there's nothing good in this game. Maybe some backgrounds and bonuses, but they also aren't very impressive.

The Bad
Almost everything. First, there is annoying welcome screen. You have to watch it every time you run "Kiloblaster" for about 10 seconds, and you can't skip it! Second, music and sounds are just horrible. They use SoundBlaster as "Jill of the Jungle", but these tracks are a piece of... aaaa... nevermind. Third, sprites look like they were copied from "Galaxian" for NES! But this game requires VGA card for 256 colors. While background really uses 256 colors, sprites look like they use 16 colors! Not to mention, that they are very simple.

Another "space shooter" from Epic, called "Overkill", requires 16 colors, but it looks much better. And it was released in the same year as "Kiloblaster". And the worst thing is gameplay. I always thought that it can't be screwed in "space shooter". But guys in Epic are very smart and intelligent, and they made an impossible thing - they ruined "space shooter" gameplay! "Kiloblaster" is too easy! Imagine that: on the screen appears randomly generated enemy in randomly selected place with some bonuses. You shoot it, grab bonuses, and there comes another enemy with another bonuses. And so on, and so on. You can receive an invulnerability shield on the beginning! Oh, my.

The Bottom Line
I went berserk during writing this review. I'm usually a quiet guy, but "Kiloblaster" made me really, really angry. My advice: don't play it. "Overkill" is much better.

By Sir Gofermajster on July 31, 2008

Brix (DOS)

It's a "fast food game".

The Good
This game is a big challenge for player. Reflex and intelligence are necessary to play it. It contains a lot of levels (even in shareware version!) fulfilled with many different things such as acid and elevators.

The Bad
Graphics are simple and soundtrack is poor, but come on - who cares about that in puzzle game. The worse thing is it gets boring after one hour. But if you want to play it for, let's say, 15 minutes, it's okay. It's a kind of "fast food game". Unfortunately, there isn't mouse support, what can be really annoying.

The Bottom Line
It's hard to tell more about "Brix". If you like puzzle games or you want to relax in office, it's a very good game. Otherwise, you better think about that.

By Sir Gofermajster on July 30, 2008

Jill of the Jungle: Jill Saves the Prince (DOS)

The final cut for Jill's adventures

The Good
This is the final episode of Jill adventures. Now you can walk on map-based world. When you enter to the hut, you will enter to another level. Some graphics are changed, for example this giant skull looks different (and stupid). Epic added also some new music and sounds. They are, as usual, very good.

The Bad
Unfortunately, it's not very different from first episode. Once again you walk around the jungle, use the same weapons and beat the same (with one exception - there are "giant, crazed lizards") enemies. Map-based world is pretty cool on the beginning, but later, when distances between huts are getting bigger, it's annoying. And this game is once again too short!

The Bottom Line
Well, this is probably the worst part of whole trilogy, but it's still very cool and worth playing. If you like previous episodes, you will like this one too.

By Sir Gofermajster on July 20, 2008