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Astrotit (DOS)

Astrotit DOS Title screen

MISSING COVER

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Released
Platform
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MobyRank
100 point score based on reviews from various critics.
1.1
MobyScore
5 point score based on user ratings.

Description

Setting the scene for a shoot-'em-up game is always a stiff proposition and never anywhere more so than here: due to hitherto unknown properties of hamster urine leeching into the water supply, humanity is rendered telepathic and besieged by enormous symbols of repressed desire and Freudian hang-ups.

Proving once again that nothing is less sexy than a sexuality-themed video game, this crude premise is intended to explain why you, the player, are in charge of eliminating an army of "Bouncing Birth-Control Pills", "Bibles (Straight from the South)", "AIDS Virii" (a cutting-edge inclusion at the game's release), and, yes, the eponymous lactating "Astro Tits", with the assistance of a (chew on this, Zombie Nation) ghoulishly disembodied phallus. (Yes, by shooting wriggling spermatozoa (with eyes!) into them.) All in front of stunning 4-colour CGA renditions of Moon Patrol-style sci-fi lunar landscapes!

Screenshots

Astrotit DOS Title screen
Astrotit DOS Establishing the back-story
Astrotit DOS Instructions and controls
Astrotit DOS Level 2 offers more of the same with a minor change of locale

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Trivia

Inspiration

Apparently the hamster connection is inspired by an '80s urban legend involving actor Richard Gere.

T-Shirt

For the discerning video game connoisseur prepared to flaunt their tastelessness to the world, this game featured a crosspromotional T-shirt tie-in, with a Rudeware logo on the back and one of the Astro Tits on the front, shooting a squirt of milk in all its pixelated glory. At $10, it only ran you two dollars more than Infocom's "I got the babel fish!" t-shirt, and, we like to think, revealed a great deal more about the wearer.

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Pseudo_Intellectual (44595) added Astrotit (DOS) on May 30, 2005