Revolution X

The Good
The good? There's good in this game? Well, I suppose the fact that it didn't kill me was "good," but that's about it.

The Bad
Is everything descriptive enough?

No, seriously. I played through the first few levels of this game on three different platforms, and all but DOS suffered from this major problem: control! It's bloody hard to control the crosshairs with a game pad! Why? Speed. The crosshairs might as well simply freeze in place when you try to move them--they move that slow in the console version. In the DOS version, however, you get a nice mouse to use, and your speed is only bounded by the mouse. Indeed, the DOS version is quite playable, but it's still not fun.

Secondly, the plot. Whoever thought this one up was a freaking genius. Essentially, Aerosmith the band gets kidnapped by some evil group with an evil sounding, yet ultimately lame, acronym like "CRUDE" or "VILE." They then make you travel across the world to save various things, like the rainforest, by communicating with you through their car (telepathically? The game never clears this up). Why is the evil group kidnapping rockstars and destroying the rainforest? I'll be darned if I know! They never really reveal why the evil guy, who really looks like Micheal Jackson wants to do this.

Thirdly, the sound. It's awful! Aerosmith, while not particularly bad in their own right, does not transform into chip music well at all. The version of Rag Doll used for the loading screens ought to be drug out into the street and shot, along with the guy who composed it.

Lastly, comes the graphics. Now, seeing as this game was released before Duke 3D, I can forgive much of the graphics' problems to time, but the fact that there's only one type of enemy that shows up per level is simply inexcusable! In the first level, aside from the random (and I really do mean random) tank showing up at the concert, there is only one type of enemy, and they're the most bland characters I've ever seen. Yes, they're the menacing guys in yellow shirts who shoot at your for no apparent reason!

The Bottom Line
When writing a review, this section is called "How would you describe this game to others?" I must confess that I wouldn't even discuss this game with others, let alone describe it to them. Heck, if someone brings Revolution X up in a conversation, I'm changing the subject.