The Simpsons: Hit & Run

The Good
Every landmark, character, situation and object you can think of that has graced the Simpsons TV show gets to make an appearance here. As advertised, the game places you in a virtual Springfield (divided in 4 zones) and you are free to visit such places as Camp Krusty, Moe's Tavern, Mr. Burns mansion, etc. as well as meet all of the characters from the show in one way or another, even the obscure ones you don't see anymore like Dr. Nick (Hi Nick!!) and yeah, all of them are voiced by the show's full cast. On top of that, events from the show that can't be replayed in the game appear in collectible trading cards, and you can also collect different costumes for each of the Simpsons to wear (ie: play as Bartman instead of regular Bart). Heck! There's even an Itchy and Scratchy episode to be found if you clear the game at 100%!

In short if solely for the "has everything you've ever seen in the show" factor, Hit & Run is a Simpsons fan's wet dream... unfortunately that's all it's got going for it... I guess I should give credit to the designers for adding a way to automatically spawn the cars you own in your location (by using the payphones around the game) saving you the hassle of actually having to replace them or getting them back at your garage but it's really the only improvement over the GTA3 formula I could find.

The Bad
You would think that it takes a really determined effort to make the Simpsons suck and that nothing could probably accomplish such a feat, right? Well don't underestimate the resolve of the guys at Fox Interactive, who didn't believe they had done enough damage with Road Rage (a Simpsons-themed Crazy Taxi rip-off) and now deliver us a Simpsons-themed GTA3 rip-off. I'm still wondering why nobody has sued Fox's ass off over this but anyway, onto the game itself:

Hit & Run makes no effort to conceal that it's a GTA3 clone, basically you just drive around the gameworld doing "missions" for assorted NPCs that somehow tie up to a stupid plot tied up with the release of the brand new Krusty-Kola and some gigantic cybernetic bees that are supposed to be "spy cams" (because really, nobody notices giant cybernetic bees and they make perfect spies). As each of the Simpsons, you go up to a certain NPC (marked in your map) looking for clues to the mystery at hand, and they retort: "Sure I'll help you! But you have to get me to X place in 3 seconds!" or "No I won't help you unless you beat me in a race around the city" or similarly retarded stuff.

This shows us the game's basic problem: which is that since the gameplay is completely forced upon the license (because "Hey! GTA3 sells! And the Simpsons sells! So if you put them both together...") the end result is a collection of meaningless and idiotic sequences in which the player has no hope of ever getting involved into. Plus, since it's a family title, you can't really have the violence and extra gameplay features you had in GTA3, so the game is only left with races, races and lots of races. Everything in Springfield is settled with a race apparently and if you think no amount of innane races with impossibly difficult time limits and cars that explode at the smallest touch can bore you then I suggest you give this title a try. Similarly the plot in GTA3 was more or less linked with the missions and the gansta theme of the game, Hit & Run on the other hand has nothing Simpson about it's plot or gameplay premise.

But wait! It doesn't stop there! The game is also a Mario-clone! As you often need to jump around destroying the robotic bees and collecting giant floating gold coins so that you can buy all the costumes and cars in the game (which are often required for doing certain missions). Believe me, nothing seems so out of place in a Simpsons game as jumping around from building to building collecting giant gold coins. And that's without mentioning the hidden trading cards, special jumps, cars and assorted collectible crap a-la Pokemon.

Finally the graphics left me cold. For as much flak as it has taken, cel (or toon or flat or whatever you call it)-shading has its uses in videogames as shown in the new Ninja Turtles games, and I can't help but think that Hit & Run would have looked much better with it. As it is now, the game is your average unimpressive 3D title, made all the worse by the cartoony flat-colored Simpsons world which really cries for cel-shading.

The Bottom Line
Plagiarism at it's worst, as it trashes both a kickass license and a kickass gameplay concept in the same game. Think of all the bad parts of GTA3 magnified tenfold and brutally shoved in a gameworld that has nothing to do with it, sprinkled with some low-grade platformer crap and you'll get a sense of the mess that Hit & Run is.

The only use for this game would be as masturbatory material for Simpsons cultists or as a nice way to get your kid off your back if you have a retarded and easily-fooled kid that's bugging you to get him GTA but you are afraid that he'll grow up to be a hooker-shooting gangsta.