Duke Nukem 3D

The Good
Ah... Duke3D.... What a game it was! Released just as 2.5 graphics were about to become obsolete, this game managed to outlast every other shooter in the wake of the 3D revolution. Why?? FUN. Duke3D added millions of creative touches to the already stagnant fps formula, and ended up with a product that was a truly innovative piece of software, a veritable breath of fresh air loaded with guns, girls and gore!

Duke takes the comedy approach to the fps genre, but unlike previous attempts like The Fortress of Dr. Radiaki, Duke focuses on lampooning recognized pop-culture icons, and even the fps genre and itself as a game while keeping the action and not dropping to gags. Think all fps are about a steroid-ladden hero that singlehandedly saves the world?? Well Duke is EXACTLY that, only it takes that and rubs it in your face instead of trying to hide like a coward! Duke is da man, he is the pure representation the male ego gone wild, complete with full beefcake-ness and the best collection of one-liners ever assembled for a game. Duke walks around like he owns the world, and guess what? He does! It's his show baby, and there's nothing wrong with that. In fact, the game may be about stopping an alien invasion or something like that, but it's really all about the Duke and his world. The designers made the right choice by focusing the level design on recognizable urbane locations, so that gives the ego factor a major boost. Ever wish you could just waltz in on the hottest strip-club in town, shoot some bad dudes, and walk away with the hottest chicks??? Well, with Duke you can!! Heck, even throw money at them and they'll show you some of their goods!! :)) And if you think that's politically incorrect, well that's just the tip of the iceberg. Through the course of the game Duke takes potshots at just about every recognizable pop-culture icon you can think about, including video games! Also among the enemies you have LAPD cops, and not just cops, but PIG cops! How cool is that? But want the icing on the cake?? Duke says to a boss he'll blow his head off and shit down his throat... and guess what does he do when you beat him?? :)))) It's gross, it's immature, it's juvenile, and it's The Greatest videogame moment EVER!

Of course, that alone wouldn't sell the game to anyone but the most stupidly immature of gamers (me!me!!;D) but the gameplay also gets a lot of major yet subtle innovations to add to the usual brain-melting fps action. Remember the duct-crawling you thought was so cool on games like Half-Life or Deus Ex? This is were it started. Ditto that now forgotten "shoot the crack in the wall" trick to reveal new areas. Duke also delivered the first truly good underwater action for an fps, and included an inventory with such items as a jetpack or a holo-duke. Duke also was a first on the good use of decals, which allowed you to leave bullet marks everywhere and even leave bloody footprints when you stepped on dead foes, Hehehe...Furthermore, Duke was the first game which made it's entire levels complete interactive locations. Did you see how in Max Payne you could pick up phones and hear a tone, or use vending machines, or stuff like that?? Well, it all started here also! You could burn down trees, stick your fingers on electrical outlets, use the toilets (and gain health doing so :), turn on tvs, flirt with hookers, open pretty much everything that could be opened (like cash registers) and even play pool!! Even non-obvious things like mirrors would yield their quota of fun when used as Duke would comment on them. (Duke 3D was the prime reason why I so missed the "use" key on Quake).

Further praise must also be made for Duke's arsenal, which stands out as one of the most imaginative ones ever. You get the usual shotgun-pistol-rocket-machinegun combo, and on top of that you get an assortment of wacky and great weapons like a shrinking ray, a freezing ray, micro-missiles, trip mines, and the allmighty pipe bombs. These weapons really came alive during multiplayer duke- match, few things match the joy of shrinking down a friend and then actually stepping over them :))

The Bad
The second episode takes place in a stupid space station. Who wants to be on a dull space station when you can be at a porn-house, or a sushi parlor with funky geishas?? :) Seriously, the second episode is standard fps action, and Duke3D is WAY above that.

The Bottom Line
Duke is the man. Still is, and always will.

Seriously, tough. Duke3D proved that creative genius, style, and execution are the real cornerstones of every good game. Not the flashy graphics or crap like that. (Tough Duke still remains a visually-digestible game to this day, which says a lot of it's 2.5D engine). Don't even think about it, Get Duke 3D or Get Nuked!