Trike Racers

The Good
1) Wide variety of random-name generated opponents, including our lord Jesus himself who makes an appearance, along with Noah. (Minus Ark) 2) Complete absence of any ingame sounds, save for powerups activating. (Very realistic given that this is Tricycle racers, not Mario Kart!) 3) Superb graphics which have stood the test of time well; this game looks like it could have come out yesterday! 4) Splitscreen mode which allows you to convert your friends to Christianity more easily. 5) One of the power ups is a trap, which when fallen foul of, puts the evil eyes on the player and turns the screen all wobbly, and shifts between psychedelic colours. The message here is clear: Don't do drugs! 6) The rocket boost powerup is so fast that on some circuits you can go out of bounds of the track barriers, with no way of resetting or respawning. This is a true test, inserted to show players that much like real life, Tricycle racers isn't fair.

The Bad
1) Jesus is seriously nerfed; I was able to beat him easily despite missing the start due to praying too long. This is clearly blasphemy, but I like to think that in letting the player win so easily, Jesus was trying to emulate the parable of the good samaritan, who drove his tricycle into a wall repeatedly for 3 laps straight. 2) The track creator offers too much freedom and creativity, which as we all know tempt the presence of the devil. 3) The game, unlike the Bible, is just too short, although like the Bible it is also very much open to interpretation.

The Bottom Line
A deeply moving religious experience masquerading as a budget-title racing game. Tricycle racers is a public service and will make you an all-round better human being.